Disclaimer: Phooey. Voyager's over, but no infringement intended.

100 Days

by Dee Price


"100 days."

"Excuse me?"

"100 days, Chakotay. Same time, same place. I have a question I want to ask you at that time."

"Why not now?" he asked with a puzzled look.

She shook her head as she stood. "100 days. Agreed?"

"All right, but you know you will have me dying of curiosity that whole time," he said as he accompanied her out of the coffee shop doors and onto the sidewalk.

She didn't respond, just turned and headed up the street, her walk brisk and resolute and her head bobbing in that familiar way he had seen for seven years on Voyager. He stood and watched her until she turned a corner and disappeared.

This had been a chance meeting between the Captain and former First Officer of Voyager. She had come in out of the brisk wind, spotted him in a corner booth and immediately headed in his direction with a large smile.

It had been three months now since Voyager's return to Earth, and beyond the hoopla of the Federation welcoming everybody home, the parades, the festivities, this was the first time he had seen Kathryn. Oh there had been the following month where the crew had been intensely debriefed, but he barely saw her during that time.

When the debriefing was over, the crew gradually dispersed to be with their families and loved ones or to take a vacation. He and Seven had found a small cottage on the outskirts and settled down. Starfleet, however, had Seven in to either Headquarters or the Hospital every day while they poked, prodded and studied her implants, her Borg physiology and those pesky nanoprobes.She had become quite testy so Chakotay had arranged for the Voyager EMH to be present at all sessions, and that made her feel a little more relaxed and accepting of the questions and tests, which she continually referred to at home as 'irrelevant and meaningless.'

Chakotay turned and headed for his shuttle with a shake of the head as he recalled theirargument earlier that morning. In fact, it seemed they had argued for the last three days. As he entered his shuttle to head for the base Hospital to pick her up, his thoughts once again turned to Kathryn's request to meet in 100 days. What on Earth could her question be he wondered?

* * * *

100 days later

Chakotay entered the coffee shop and quickly scanned the occupants. There she was, sitting in the same corner booth she had seen him in one hundred days ago. He smiled and slid in opposite her.

"You're late," she said.

"Am I?"

"Two minutes, sixteen seconds," she said with a smile.

"I'm sorry," he said with a big grin. "I forgot how you demand punctuality."

"And Seven doesn't?" she said with an impish smile.

He just waved that off and leaned forward. "Okay, so what's the big question?"

"Not yet. We have to have some coffee." She stopped and corrected that statement. "I have to have some coffee first," she said with a chuckle.

"I might even join you in that," he commented and then laughed at her surprised expression.

They sat and talked of what each had been doing during the last one hundred days. Kathryn had gone on vacation with her sister Phoebe and her husband and of course her mother Gretchen, while Chakotay had taken a position at a private school teaching Anthropology.

Kathryn listened intently as he described his classes and some of his students. She looked deep into his eyes as he talked, and despite his excitement and apparent happiness with his job, she saw sadness.

She smiled and said, "That sounds wonderful, Chakotay. Oh, I meant to tell you that I saw Harry Kim two days ago. He is absolutely ecstatic. He's been promoted to Lieutenant."

Chakotay laughed. "You know, Kathryn, he really did deserve a promotion out there in the Delta Quadrant.

She nodded. "I agree, but somehow it just didn't seem appropriate at the time."

After thirty minutes of casual conversation, she suddenly leaned forward, and taking both his hands in hers asked, "Are you happy Chakotay?"

He looked at her. "Is that your question? I've waited on pins and needles for 100 days and that is your question?"

"Tell me Chakotay, and remember this is Kathryn you are talking to. Be honest," she said as her eyes continued to probe his.

He looked out the window for a moment, recalling the argument he had had with Seven that morning. It seemed the day couldn't start without that confrontation on something, anything. It didn't matter what he said or did, she found fault with it, as if it wasn't 'perfect enough' for her. He had tried everything to please her. At first, they had been very happy together, but eventually her emotional insecurity began to assert itself in their relationship and the only real happiness he now found was in his classes.

"Chakotay?"

He turned back to look at her and once again looked away. She squeezed his hands, prompting him to look at her as she waited his answer.

Finally he smiled. "Of course I am."

Kathryn shook her head. "You are not being honest with me, Chakotay. You once told me you 'knew me'. Well I know you, too. Are you happy?"

He sighed and pulled his hands away from hers. Her touch ... He sighed and shaking his head said softly, "I've had better days."

"You and Seven are not getting along?"

Chakotay shook his head. "It seems we have been in a continual argument of late." Then he leaned forward. "You know her Kathryn. She was your 'special project' on Voyager. It just seems nothing I do pleases her. I don't know what to do."

Kathryn continued to look into his eyes, seeing the pain and torment and briefly wondered if Admiral Janeway had been right to come back and change things. "I know you hate arguing Chakotay. It's not your nature, so it must be very unpleasant for you. I'm sorry I can't help." She giggled then, trying to relieve the tension she felt. "Seven and I argued all the time, too."

Chakotay sighed and again looked out the window at the people strolling by. Abruptly Kathryn stood.

"I have to go, Chakotay. I'm leaving tomorrow on a mission." She looked at him and hesitated a moment and then said, "100 days, same time, same place."

He stood. "Where are you going?"

"It's only a three month scientific expedition and ..." she smiled as she added, "Lt Kim has been assigned to the crew as well as Dalby, Chell and Ayala. It will almost feel like home!" She looked at him and turned for the door, with Chakotay following behind.

"100 days," he said, and then with a mischievous smile asked, "Another question?"

Kathryn smiled, nodded her head and after squeezing his arm turned and headed up the street. "100 days, Chakotay. See you then and don't be late this time!"

"What about you?" he called out.

She stopped and looked at him with a rather wistful expression. "I'll be there and if I can't you will be told." Again she turned and walked away without a look back.

Chakotay smiled. He enjoyed these small get-togethers, but they never seemed long enough. He frowned as he checked his chronometer. It was time to go pick up Seven.

* * * * *

100 days later.

Chakotay sat nervously waiting in the booth. Kathryn wasn't there and was actually late. She wasn't going to appear his mind raged. He checked the time again and his frown deepened but at that moment the coffee shop door opened and she bustled in and almost without looking headed for his booth.

"You're late. Four minutes and 13 seconds," he said with a smile.

"Sorry," she said breathlessly. "I couldn't get away from Starfleet." Chakotay caught the eye of the waitress and nodded his head. A moment later a cup of coffee was placed in front of Kathryn.

She smiled, picked it up and holding it close to her nose, deeply inhaled its aroma. "Thank you," she said dreamily as she took the first sip. Chakotay sat silently and waited as he watched with amusement at the way she savored that coffee.

As Kathryn sipped the brown liquid she studied Chakotay's face. The lines were deeper and there were black circles under his eyes now, and the eyes ... no mischievous sparkle, no life, just deep sadness and as she absorbed that her heart felt like it would break. At last she placed the cup down in the saucer and smiled at him.

"How was your mission?" he immediately asked, as he was aware she had been looking at him.

She smiled. "Successful and we didn't get whisked away to some other quadrant."

"That's a first. Starfleet must be ecstatic," laughed Chakotay, and then feigned injury as she playfully swatted his arm.

"Don't get smart with me now Commander," she said with a laugh.

"I'm not Commander anymore," he said seriously.

"I know," and she immediately turned her face away from Chakotay's look and scanned the room. "Don't recognize anyone," she muttered. Looking back she asked in a rather off-hand and casual manner, "So how are things with you and Seven? Any better since we last talked?"

"Is that your question?"

"No, just a question," she replied as she again looked deep into his eyes.

Chakotay felt disconcerted by such a direct look. He had gotten used to them on Voyager but now it had been nine months and he felt her look was penetrating into his very soul. He also knew he had to be honest.

Shrugging his shoulders he said softly, "Not good. In fact things have gotten worse if the truth were known. She even left me ... well, disappeared for about two weeks. When she came back she merely said she had to 'think things over' and I hoped she'd gotten her mind squared away, but apparently she hasn't."

"Have you talked to the Doctor about it?"

"Voyager's EMH?", he queried. At Kathryn's nod he said, "Yes, he and I have had about three conversations. He always ends up saying it's going to take her time to adjust."

Kathryn decided to order a sandwich so Chakotay did the same. After finishing that he knew the next question out of her mouth would be the one he waited for, yet didn't have a clue what it would be. After the waitress removed their dishes Kathryn looked up at him and reaching out took hold of his hands.

"What are you going to do with your life, Chakotay?"

"Do with my life? I don't understand, Kathryn. I'm married and I'm teaching Anthropology, two things I've always wanted."

She repeated her question and he just stared at her. Finally he whispered, "I don't know. I didn't mention it before, but Seven has twice asked how you dissolve a marriage on Earth, so that might happen. If she does I won't contest it. She's not happy." He looked up and in a forlorn tone said, "We were so happy at first, Kathryn. Why didn't you warn me about her?"

"Would you have listened to anything negative I might have tried to say about her?"

"No," he said shaking his head. "I'd have just probably thought you were angry at my loving her and maybe a little hurt by it."

"I was," she replied matter-of-factly.

Chakotay's eyes widened. "You were? Which one?"

"Both," she said with a small smile. "But you seemed so very happy and that's what was important to me. So now, again, what are you going to do with your life?"

"If she divorces me I might go back to Dorvan V for awhile. Try to re-establish my roots ... see if anyone I know is still there."

Kathryn stood. "I have to go. It's later than I thought." Then she smiled. "I'm going out on another short mission day after tomorrow in the Appomattox and following that I'm taking a vacation at Risa. You look like you could use some R&R. There is a coffee shop next door to the main hotel ... 100 days? Same time?"

"Agreed," he said with a smile. "I'll arrange the time when I get back to the office."

"What about Seven?"

"She left this morning to visit her Aunt. I'll tell her when she gets back in a couple of weeks. Tomorrow I have a two-day conference at the Golden Gate Hotel which includes dinner and dancing after," he said with a grimace. "I'm forced to attend but will just make a brief appearance at the dance and then spend the night in the hotel room.

The next night Chakotay heard a light rapping on his hotel door and upon opening it he was startled to see Kathryn.

Without a word of explanation she took hold of his hand and tugged him out into the hallway. Silently they entered the turbo lift and descended to the Foyer. Music was heard coming from the ballroom and she headed in that direction, pulling determinedly on his arm.

As they entered she headed for the dance floor, turned to him and said, "Dance with me, Chakotay."

"I don't dance Kathryn," he said with a smile. "But if you stand on top of my shoes I can move us around without stepping on your toes."

"Agreed," she said with a laugh and held out her arms in the dance position.

As if in a fog Chakotay took one hand and delicately placed his other at the small of her back, feeling a slight shiver from Kathryn at his touch. Without knowing how or when Chakotay suddenly realized Kathryn's body was against his, her head on his shoulder and his one hand was now sticking out in the middle of the air. Gently he brought it to her and placed it on her upper back. They danced silently, both hearts pounding.The music ended and Kathryn stepped back and looked at him.

"Thank you. I leave in the morning. 100 days at Risa," and walked away, leaving him standing in the middle of the dance floor, confused and ... aroused. Yes he was definitely aroused, something he hadn't experienced for quite some time.

* * * *

100 Days later

Chakotay strolled through the Hotel and stepped outside into the brilliant sunshine. He knew exactly where the coffee shop was as he had arrived early this morning and immediately checked for its location.

He shaded his eyes as he looked around, looked at his chronometer and headed for the coffee shop. Ten minutes, ten minutes until he saw Kathryn. He wondered what her question would be this time and if he should tell her Seven had divorced him while she was visiting her Aunt. No he wouldn't say anything unless she brought it up. What happened happened and in truth he was more happy and relaxed now.

Ten minutes went by and no Kathryn. Then thirty, then an hour, two hours and she still didn't appear. Confused and disappointed he finally left and headed back to the hotel. As he walked up to the Registration Desk he asked if a Captain Kathryn Janeway was registered. The answer of 'no and she didn't have a reservation', stunned him. She had told him if she couldn't make their meeting he would be told! Now he added worry to his previous emotions.

Once back in his room he sat at the computer and placing a call to Starfleet inquired as to the whereabouts of Captain Janeway.

"I'm sorry Commander Chakotay." Relied the Ensign taking the call. "I thought you knew. Her ship was declared missing two weeks ago."

Chakotay sat there, not seeing the Ensign, not hearing his repeated question of "Commander, are you all right?" Missing! Kathryn was missing!

At last Chakotay responded and asked the Ensign what had happened and when. The Ensign told him she had turned up missing one week into her mission and Starfleet had engaged in search missions until two weeks ago when she was officially listed as missing. Chakotay thanked the Ensign and terminated the call. His mind was in chaos. Not again. Kathryn couldn't be missing.

He immediately called the desk and told them he was checking out and arranged transport to the Shuttle Depot for a trip back to Earth. Once there he prowled the halls of Starfleet, asking questions, pinning one luckless Lt. to the wall trying to obtain information, all to no avail.

"You know as much as we do, Commander," Admiral Street had told him one day in an irritated tone. "When we find out something we'll let you know."

Two months went by without word, but Chakotay continued to badger Starfleet for information, until he was told to stay out of Headquarters.

It was 0200 hours when Chakotay was awakened by the beeping on his console. Staggering half asleep, he punched the Incoming Call button. A nervous Ensign's face greeted him.

"I'm sorry to awaken you at this hour but I have orders to call you, Commander."

"Yes? What is it Ensign?"

"Well sir, I've been ordered to tell you that The Starship Appomattox has contacted Starfleet Command and will be arriving at Earth Station in two hours and ..."

"What about it's Captain? What of Captain Janeway?" yelled Chakotay.

"Actually sir, I can't tell you. I only know what I just told you," said the flustered Ensign.

"Very well, Ensign. Two hours? Thank you," and he broke the communication, dressed and raced out of the house.

For the next110 minutes Chakotay paced. He had flown directly to the Station and beamed up to await the Appomattox's arrival. Eventually he had been informed that Captain Janeway was indeed aboard, and sighed in relief.

He stopped periodically and stared out at the dark night and finally he saw it ... the speck of moving light. For the next ten minutes he stood rooted to the spot, never taking his eyes off that light as it became larger and larger and finally now was taking the shape of a Starship.

He nervously watched as it approached and noted the Port Nacelle was damaged, which would account for its slow approach, but also the hull was battered. His heart raced as he pictured Kathryn sitting in her command chair, proud and defiant, bringing her ship home.

Slowly, agonizingly slowly, the ship approached and finally docked. Chakotay waited anxiously at the docking port until the hatch was unsealed and slid open. He watched as many of the crew exited, but none of the Senior Officers appeared. Saying 'to heck with it' he raced in and headed for the Bridge, barreling over the security officer who had tried vainly to stop him and now sat on the deck looking dazed.

The Bridge doors opened and Chakotay ran in, braking to a halt just inside the doors and looked down at the Command Chair.

Kathryn, hearing the doors hiss open, looked back, and seeing Chakotay stood and faced him. They looked at one another, their eyes locked in an embrace their bodies had never known. Slowly he moved forward, their eyes seeing only each other, oblivious to anyone else in the room. At last he stood facing her and slowly smiled.

"You're late. Two months, 10 days, 14 hours and fifty-two seconds," he said.

Kathryn smiled as they continued to look into each other's eyes. "I'm sorry. I should have called," she said huskily.

Both stood staring at one another, oblivious to the stares of the Senior Officers on the Bridge. The moment was broken when the Ensign at the OPS station cleared his throat.

"Captain, Starfleet command is hailing."

Kathryn held up her hand, palm facing him to acknowledge hearing him, but didn't say a word. Chakotay cleared his throat and smiled.

"Well, I know you have a lot of duties to perform now. I'll see you," and as he started to turn said, "100 days, same time, same place?"

"No," was the soft reply.

His heart thudded, blood drained from his face and his mind reeled from the shock of those unexpected words. "No?"

"No," she said with a sweet smile. "I missed the last one. When everything is finished here I will call you and set up a day."

He nodded in relief and left the Bridge.

It was almost three weeks before Kathryn called and left a message on his console, as he wasn't in. She apologized for the delay merely explaining that Starfleet had a lot of questions. "Tomorrow?" was all she said before the call was terminated.

Chakotay walked into the Coffee Shop fifteen minutes early and to his surprise saw Kathryn already there. As he sat down she smiled.

"I thought I'd come a little early."

He chuckled. "Fifteen minutes. So how are you Kathryn? What happened?"

She looked down at her hands a moment and then as these two old friends were want to do, told the truth.

"It seems our Cardassian friends are still up to some of their old tricks."

Chakotay's eyes opened and a horror-stricken look came over his face as he stared at her, absorbing her words.

"The Cardassians - you weren't ...?" he choked out.

Kathryn simply nodded her head. "Both," she whispered.

"Oh Great Spirits, Kathryn. No!"

"Well it wasn't so much different than the last time I was their prisoner, just a little harder to take now at my age. I just thank Starfleet for their anti-pregnancy shots."

"I am so sorry," whispered Chakotay as he took hold of her hands. Then rage started to boil in his eyes. "Those bastards!" he hissed.

"It's over Chakotay," she said softly. "And I'm all right. The doctors gave me a complete physical and repaired the damage."

"It's not all right, Kathryn," he said with compassion in his voice and moistness in his eyes. "All I can say is I'm sorry. Care to tell me about it ... how it happened? Your capture I mean"

"I'd like to talk about it Chakotay, but not here. Maybe later, in the nearby park where I can enjoy the fresh air, sunshine and hear the birds singing. Do you know they don't have any birds?"

The two ate lunch and Chakotay again watched in amazement as Kathryn almost made love to her cup of coffee. At last they walked to the park and she told him the complete story. How one week into her mission the Cardassians had appeared, seemed friendly, then suddenly attacked and boarded her ship. They were kept captive on a small, desolate planet in Cardassian space and she was tortured for information and raped for pleasure. The Commandant at one time told her she must be pretty important as Starfleet was continually sending out hails asking for information as well as searching, but as they were being held in Cardassian space and Starfleet couldn't enter, they would not be rescued.

"For some reason a little more than two weeks ago, we were suddenly released, but the ship was in such bad shape - all we had was Thrusters. But the crew!" she enthused. "Despite their torture they were fantastic and made a great many repairs while we were en-route to Earth."

She leaned forward and picked a blade of grass and looked at it a moment. "There wasn't any grass on that planet. That and no birds made it the perfect place for the Cardassians to hold prisoners. It added to the environment of fear.Amazing though," she whispered as she fondled that blade of grass, "how such a simple thing has such great beauty and importance." She sat and gazed at it and then suddenly stood and walked a few steps away, stood silently for a moment, and then seemingly braced herself, as if temporarily forcing those memories from her mind, quickly turned and with a smile returned to sit beside him.

"So tell me what you've been up to while I was gone."

"Well," he said with a chuckle and trying to ease the moment, "You stood me up on Risa for our talk."

She giggled. "Sorry about that. I was there in Spirit though."

He nodded. "I know. I'm just trying to be funny and it's not the time."

"It's always the time, Chakotay. You have a way of relaxing me during hard times."

"Anyway, I left Risa right away and badgered Starfleet until they ordered me not to set foot in the building again."

Kathryn laughed. "They didn't!"

"Oh yes and the one time I tried, two Security Officers escorted me rather roughly off the property, so I had to resort to calling after that. I was successful for awhile and then I think everyone disconnected their consoles as I couldn't get through to anyone!" Kathryn started laughing as Chakotay was saying this and couldn't stop.

Chakotay looked at her. He so loved it when she laughed.

"Then what?" asked Kathryn as she wiped at her eyes.

"Well I went to Dorvan V for a couple of weeks and when I came back I visited my cousin in Ohio. A week ago the Anthropology classes started again." He hadn't mentioned Seven in all that and wondered if Kathryn caught it.

Kathryn had, and sat silently a moment. She reached out and gently took his hand. "I'm sorry about Seven, Chakotay."

He looked shocked. "You know?"

"While going through debriefing I ran into Tom and B'Elanna and they told me. I had to laugh once, and I apologize in advance, but Tom said, and I quote, 'I don't know how it lasted as long as it did. They were the most miss-matched couple in the universe,' and B'Elanna agreed, saying she couldn't believe it when you told her you loved Seven. Both she and Tom gave the marriage only a couple of years, if that."

"I know. She was pretty shocked. How about you Kathryn? Knowing you, you probably said it wouldn't last either."

"Nine months."

"Nine months? That's how long you thought it would last? Well you were wrong miss smarty-pants. It lasted a little over a year!"

Both sat and laughed over this but finally Kathryn, looking very solemn and contrite, said, "I'm sorry Chakotay. I really am."

Chakotay looked down at the ground a moment and then quietly said, "You know, I sometimes find myself wondering if Admiral Janeway should have just left things the way they were. That way I'd have died believing I loved Seven."

"But then you would never have known the truth of your life with her, Chakotay. Sometimes we just have to experience things the way they were meant to happen and ..." She stopped and chuckled. Now having said that, I don't have a clue which happening was the real one!"

Both sat staring into space for a while, trying to digest their remembrances of what Admiral Janeway had said would happen and what had happened now.

"I wonder if she still believes she was right?" asked Chakotay almost absent-mindedly.

"Well it could be she knew what would really happen if you two actually got together."

Chakotay looked at Kathryn. "Or hoped?"

Kathryn blushed and didn't respond. Finally she stood. "It's late and believe it or not I have a meeting with Starfleet at 0800 hours, so I better get home and get some rest."

As she started to walk away Chakotay felt heartbroken. She hadn't asked her question or mentioned meeting again in 100 days!

Kathryn suddenly stopped and walked back and stood face to face. "I didn't ask you my question," she said huskily.

"I noticed," he replied.

She looked at him and Chakotay could see doubt and hesitation in her eyes, something he rarely saw, but he waited her out.

"Will you have another woman in your life sometime, Chakotay?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I would hope so, but it appears I have bad luck with women."

Kathryn giggled. "Riley, Species 8472, Kellin and Seven. You do have a track record."

"You left out one," said Chakotay softly. "Captain Janeway."

Kathryn's face turned beet red and she wheeled and walked away, calling out "100 days, same time, same place," and never looked back.

* * * *

100 days later

Chakotay entered the coffee shop and smiled. Kathryn was early again.

"Early again? That's twice," he said as he slid into the booth.

"Just trying to make up some of the time we missed on Risa," she said with a gentle laugh.

"No fair. I'm not with you on these early times."

They sat and in their usual beginning tête-à-tête, brought each other up-to-date on what they had been doing since the last time they met.

Following that Chakotay cleared his throat. "You left out something. I see in the papers you are dating a Colonel Bradbury." As he said that he felt his heart skip a beat at the pain of Kathryn seeing someone.

She smiled. "He's a delightful man, but dating? Not really. It was more like he needed an escort for a couple of situations and asked me to help him out. You know how the news is."

Chakotay grinned. "You're not dating him then?"

"Good heavens, no. Besides, he has a girlfriend, and I think I was the catalyst. She is suddenly available for everything he has to go to." She looked at him and asked, "What about you Chakotay? With your record you should have another girlfriend by now."

He shook his head no. "I refuse to dignify that with an answer," he laughed.

"Good," she whispered. But it wasn't quiet enough. Chakotay had heard it but wasn't quite sure he had heard right, so didn't respond.

At last, as was her usual, Kathryn leaned forward. What question would it be today? Chakotay asked of himself silently.

She took hold of his hands and said, "I have another question, Chakotay, but this isn't the time or place. Are you free tomorrow night? We could have dinner at my place."

"Are you cooking?" he asked with a grin.

"Listen," she said with a laugh. "The Replicator at my house doesn't like me any more than the one on Voyager did. We've had many a talk but it just doesn't seem to do any good. I'll order in!"

"In that case I'll be there. I'm curious what this question is all about," he said, his eyes dancing mischievously.

"Good. One day, my place, 0700 hours," and she stood and walked briskly away.

* * * *

One Day Later

At exactly 0700 hours Chakotay rang Kathryn's doorbell. Almost before it stopped ringing the door opened and she ushered him in. He presented her with an Orange-Pink Rose and she immediately took it to her face and inhaled its rich fragrance.

"I missed this, you know. You did it so often on Voyager I almost came to expect it and I apologize for that attitude," she said as she turned to the kitchen and found a vase.

Chakotay looked around but could not see nor smell any food.

Kathryn saw this and smiled. "I haven't ordered it yet, Chakotay," she said as she walked toward him. Chakotay sensed she was very nervous about something.

"What is it Kathryn? You seem on edge about something."

"I have something to tell you before I ask my question, Chakotay. Actually what I'm going to say influences my question somewhat."

"Okay," said Chakotay with a frown. "I'm listening. You know you can tell me anything, Kathryn.

She walked up close to him, looked at him, looked down at the floor and then out the window for a moment and then cleared her throat. Chakotay seeing all this felt his heart drop to the floor. She was going to end their get-togethers!

"This morning ... I told you before I had a meeting with Starfleet sometime back and I ... well, I resigned my Commission, Chakotay." His mouth dropped open in shock as she continued. "The older Janeway may have risen to an Admiral but I have no desire for that for some reason, so I made my decision while I was a prisoner of the Cardassians and then waited it out to see if I would change my mind. I didn't and although I had discussed it three months ago with Starfleet, today I made it official. I'm tired of it Chakotay. I want to settle down and just live each day without worrying about the safety of a ship full of crewmembers. Maybe," and she broke into a small laugh, "Maybe even muck around in the dirt and grow tomatoes."

"I'm surprised ... shocked really, that you want to give up Starfleet, Kathryn. You've virtually been born and raised in it. But if that's your decision then I'm happy for you, and relieved at the same time. But --- tomatoes? The last time you did that was on ..."

"New Earth, I know. But I was so relaxed then and actually found myself enjoying that time. Especially now. I look back and realize what I lost."

Chakotay looked at her as she stared up at him with those violet-blue eyes. "What did you lose, Kathryn?" he asked in a gentle tone.

"I lost a lifestyle that I found I liked and company that I enjoyed very much. Which now brings me to my question, the next to the last question."

"Which is?" asked Chakotay, who found his knees were suddenly feeling weak.

Kathryn smiled. "So far I have asked you if you were happy, what you wanted to do with your life and whether you feel you will have another woman in your life sometime. This question is," and she hesitated to the point Chakotay wanted to grab her shoulders and shake it out of her.

"What is it, Kathryn?" he forced himself to ask rather calmly.

"Actually your answer to this question predicates the last one." She looked down as if gathering courage to speak. Finally she looked directly into his eyes. "Would you be willing to give me a try?"

At his shocked look she grinned. "That didn't sound exactly right, but what I'm asking is would you be willing to let me into your life ... your personal life? I promise I'll learn how to cook."

Chakotay stared at her, scarcely believing what he had heard. "Kathryn, are you asking if you can be my girlfriend?"

"That and maybe more -in time," she replied in a very husky, seductive voice.

Chakotay smiled. He was suddenly enjoying all these questions, but wanted to know what that last one was.

"Maybe more? And what, pray tell, do you mean by that?" he asked.

"Damn you Chakotay, you're not making this easy. B'Elanna was right. You have a wicked sense of humor." As Chakotay grinned, she saw the sadness disappear from his eyes and the old happy, mischievous look appear again, and suddenly knew her answer without him telling her.

"Will you be my husband and take me as your wife sometime in the future? I know you won't ... mmfph ..." He words were cut off as Chakotay's lips came down on hers.

As he pulled his lips away and they both fought for breath, Kathryn continued her sentence. "... Won't be ready for a while after your experience with Seven."

"Who is Seven?" he asked softly as his lips again sought out hers.

"Oh God, Chakotay. I loved you so much out there in the Delta Quadrant!I was so hurt when you took up with Seven," she whispered as he held her tight. "But on Voyager I couldn't do anything about us, and so I just wished you happiness."

Chakotay pulled back his head and with his thumb gently wiped away a stray tear that lay on her cheek. "Loved? Not love?"

"I love you more now than I did on Voyager. It's been so hard keeping to these 'every 100 day' dates," she said with a laugh. "I wanted so much to see you more often and I wanted to scream in happiness when I heard you and Seven were having trouble, but that just wasn't right and I felt guilty for feeling that way. And during my torture by the Cardassians, thoughts of you were the only thing that kept me alive!"

"Oh Kathryn," he sighed as he again pulled her tight to him. "I love you. I have always loved you. I went to Seven out of frustration of knowing I couldn't have you, maybe never have you, and I honestly thought I loved her at one time."

"I was such a fool. If only I had said something ..."

"Sshhh, Sshhh," he whispered as he looked at her. "We don't talk about that and we don't look back. We are together now." Kathryn nodded her head as tears filled her eyes.
"And just to make sure," he said as he kissed her once again. "I'm telling you loud and clear that you will never ever get away from me again Kathryn Janeway, so plan on being with me the rest of your life. You are now my girlfriend ... and my future wife whenever you get around to asking," he added with a chuckle.

Kathryn looked into those dark brown eyes and smiled as she raised her lips to his.

"Maybe the old Admiral knew what she was doing after all."



Finis
July 2001

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