Disclaimer: Star Trek and all things Trek are the property of Paramount and sundry companies. No infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing a few characters for my story.

Breaking Protocol

by Dee Price


Voyager sat dead in space. Her ablative hull armor was pockmarked with holes and black fire burns. Looking through several of the holes the interior could be seen on fire.

Inside was a shambles. Debris littered corridors; in crews quarters items were strewn about; in Engineering the warp core sat silent, consoles sparked continuously and crewmembers lay in various positions on the deck. B'Elanna kept trying to sit up only to fall back again, dazed and disoriented. Moans reverberated throughout the room.

On the Bridge Captain Janeway lay on the deck, eyes closed, not moving. Paris lay across the helm with blood dripping from his head, creasing a trail down his cheek to drip onto the console. From there a relentless trail down the console to the edge where it fell into an ever-growing pool on the carpeted deck below. Harry, his eyes blank, but his brain telling him to move, pawed at the air as he tried to reach his console so he could rise to his feet, while Tuvok lay curled half under his console and feet extending out while furiously blinking his eyes, trying to regain some of his senses.

Chakotay lay conscious but stunned by his chair and stared toward his Captain. Slowly he lifted his head and looked around. Cables hung from the ceiling, some sparking dangerously close to fallen crewmembers, some consoles spewed black smoke while others lay black and silent.

He tried moving his arms to raise himself to his knees and realized he had pain when he tried to take a deep breath. Once on his hands and knees he started a slow, painful crawl towards Janeway and fearfully reached out to her neck to check for a pulse. He closed his eyes in a sign of relief as he felt her fluttering pulse.

Unable to maintain his hands and knees position any longer he lowered his body to the deck, lay there a moment and then reaching his Com badge pushed weakly at it.

"Chakotay to Sickbay," he croaked in a voice not his own. No answer.

"Sickbay this is Commander Chakotay. Doctor are you there?" Silence.

"Computer, activate the EMH."

"Unable to comply. That system is offline," said the dry, unfeeling voice of the computer.

Turning his head he saw Harry was finally pulling himself up to his feet and then sprawled across his silent console while reaching for his head.

"Harry, are you all right," he asked.

Harry's head slowly came up and his eyes moved around trying to locate the source of the voice. "I'm dazed, but I don't think I have any broken bones."

"One of us has to get the Med Kit while the other goes to Sickbay. The Captain is unconscious and Tom is hurt bad," he said in a hoarse tone.

"Understood. Give me a minute and I'll get the Med Kit," he whispered.

Chakotay turned his head toward Kathryn and noted she was still unconscious. Reaching out to one of her eyes he slowly and carefully pulled the eyelid open and saw the dilated pupil. 'Concussion' he thought.

He heard a noise, a sound of someone falling and then a moan.

"Sorry Commander. I'm still dizzy," came Harry's voice from above the Captain's command chair.

"Take it slow, just crawl if you have to. I might be able to get to Sickbay in another minute. I'm feeling better, but still a little disoriented."

A few minutes later Harry could be seen crawling down the stairs to the command deck. Chakotay nodded to him in relief. "Check the Captain. I think she has a concussion."

After getting into position near Janeway Harry pulled a TriCorder out and ran it over her body. "You're right. It's a concussion, but third degree. She shouldn't move."

"No broken bones or internal bleeding?"

Harry shook his head and then immediately fell to the deck as dizziness engulfed him again.

"Easy, Harry. Do everything slowly. I suspect you have a concussion, too. Check Paris," he said as he sat up. "If I can get to my feet I'll see if I can get to Sickbay. He pushed at his Com badge again.

"Engineering. What's your status?"

Silence greeted his hail for a few moments but then he heard B'Elanna trying to form a coherent sentence. "We . . . everything . . . the warp core is out . . . lots of damage."

"How about you?"

"I'm not quite sure . . . how the hell I am. "Everything . . . disoriented."

"If there isn't any cause for alarm on explosions or anything, take it easy and get the least injured to check on everyone. I'm going to try to get to Sickbay and see if I can get the Doctor back online."

Chakotay rose to one knee and just as he was ready to pull himself to his feet he heard Kathryn moan. Bending over her he called out her name and her eyes fluttered for a moment before opening.

"Chakotay, what happened?" she whispered. She then attempted to move and Chakotay immediately took hold of both shoulders and held her down.

"Don't move, Kathryn. You have a severe concussion. I'm going to see if I can get to Sickbay and I'll get a hypo to prevent any further brain swelling." Kathryn just moaned and closed her eyes.

"I feel like I've been hit by a battleship! What the hell happened?"

"We've taken quite a beating from some species called the Khori. They approached all nice and peaceful like and then suddenly opened up on us before we could even get shields up."

"Oh, I remember now," moaned Kathryn as she again tried to move only to fall back.

"I'm going to try to get to Sickbay," said Chakotay. "The Doctor is offline and we can't trust the transporter until it's been checked."

"Be careful Commander. You don't look too good yourself."

"Just promise me you wont try to get up, Kathryn." Looking over at Harry he noticed he had Tom lying on the deck and had now stopped the bleeding. "Harry make sure the Captain stays down. You doing okay?"

"Still dizzy, but as long as I don't move too suddenly I'm okay."

"Do the best you can and then lay still yourself," he said as he pulled his protesting body to his feet. He stood quietly a moment, making sure he wouldn't fall and then slowly started moving to the doors.

"Commander, I would guess the Turbolift is down. That's a long way to go in your condition," said Harry quietly.

"I know, and if you don't hear from me in an hour send out the St. Bernard's," he said with a slight smile.

Harry grinned at Chakotay's attempted humor. " Maybe I should check the Transporters when I get through treating everyone. Be careful and keep your Com badge open, sir."

Chakotay smiled and turned for the door. As he slowly moved into the corridor he had to keep one hand on the wall for support and realized this trip was going to be a long, slow one.

Forty minutes later Chakotay staggered into Sickbay. "Computer, activate EMH," he said automatically and then grimaced as he remembered he had already tried that on the Bridge. Moving to the console he tapped in the appropriate information and heaved a sigh of relief as the Doctor materialized.

"Please state the nature . . . Commander are you all right?" he said as he rushed to grab hold of his arm. "What happened anyway?"

"An unprovoked attack Doctor. After you treat me get your Mobile Emitter. You have a lot of rounds to make I'm afraid, starting on the Bridge. The Captain has a severe concussion."

After running his medical TriCorder over Chakotay he retrieved a Hypospray. "You have a mild concussion Commander and some torn cartilage in your chest." Following the application of the hypospray he picked up the medical dermal regenerator and ran it over Chakotay's chest.

"There, good as new!" he said with a smug smile.

"Thanks. You head for the Bridge and I'll go to Engineering. You have a second Med Kit I can take with me? B'Elanna said things are bad down there." He then tapped his Com badge while the Doctor rounded up the Med Kits. "Harry. I'm in Sickbay. The Doctor is coming up to the Bridge. How are things?"

"The Captain is unconscious, Chakotay, at least that's what it looks like. Most everyone else seems okay, at least until the Doc gets here," came his weak voice. "I've checked the Transporter and it seems okay. You want me to transport the Doc?"

"Give it a try and if it works then send me to Engineering."

"I'm a Doctor not a guinea pig," huffed the EMH even as his disappeared from view.

"Doc's here, Chakotay. I'll transport you to sickbay now."

When Chakotay materialized in Engineering he was surprised at how quiet it was. No hum of engines running, but most importantly right now, no sounds of any moans of pain. He looked around and spotted B'Elanna sitting on the floor with her back against a console. He made his way to her.

She looked at him without saying a word and waited quietly as he ran the TriCorder over her.

"Slight concussion, broken arm and bruised internal organs, some cuts and bruises."

"Is that all?" she asked. "I feel like a torpedo exploded right on top of me."

Chakotay smiled. "Well at least a console exploding in your face," he said as applied a Hypospray and started regenerating her broken arm. When finished with that he repaired her bruises and cuts.

She slowly stood, hanging onto Chakotay for support, and looked around. Some of her crew were sitting in dazed positions, others lay unconscious in various positions of disarray. Only a few were getting to their feet. Moments later the Doctor appeared and he and Chakotay moved around checking the crew.

When the Doc acknowledged he was finished with Engineering, Chakotay had him transferred to Astrometrics to check on Seven and then was he returned to the Bridge. He was very anxious to see about Kathryn.

She was still lying in the same position but now conscious. "Hi," he said softly as he knelt at her side.

She turned her head slowly and gave him a smile. "Hi yourself. How is everyone in Engineering?"

"The Doc and I fixed up everyone. He's now making rounds on the ship."

"Chakotay, the Doctor insisted I not move, but . . ." and she looked around the Bridge. Tom was now working on his console and other staff members were working on their respective consoles.

Chakotay immediately understood her concern. She was Captain and she was lying on the Bridge. An embarrassing situation for one Kathryn Janeway.

Tapping his Com badge he called to the Doctor and asked if it would hurt anything to transport the Captain to her Ready Room. The Doctor, after a moment replied he thought it would be all right, but she was to lie still on the couch. Chakotay looked over at Harry as he slipped his arms under Kathryn's shoulders. The two of them shortly disappeared from the Bridge and materialized seconds later on the floor of her Ready Room.

Chakotay immediately slipped his other arm under her legs, gently lifted her and with two quick steps placed her on the couch.

She sighed as she lay back and then said, "Thank you Chakotay. You seem to understand my slightest thoughts."

He smiled. "That's because I'm a fine First Officer."

Kathryn chuckled softly. "And not only that but in my Ready Room instead of my quarters."

"Well it keeps you closer to the Bridge, whereas in your quarters you would have fussed and complained about being so distant to the action."

She smiled. "See you even know what I need," and reached her hand to him. He took her hand in his and squeezed and felt his heart do flip-flops at the warmth and softness of her hands.

"Just take it easy and I promise I will keep you up-dated," he said as he rose, ready to return to the Bridge.

"Often, Chakotay, please," she said in a whisper.

"Agreed. Just stay down. I have to see how everything is on the Bridge. The Doctor said something about re-checking you in an hour, seeing as how the Transporter is working."

She watched as he walked out, wanting to call to him to not leave her, but knowing he had to do his job. He had already made sure she was taken care of first. She smiled. He always took care of her, always made her needs first. Slowly turning her head she looked out the view window and winced slightly at the light.

Chakotay. What would I do without you, she wondered.

* * * * *

For the next three days the crew busied themselves with repairing Voyager. Almost 90% of the crew was now on their feet, thanks to the Doctor's continuous moving from department to department. Although he could have had them come to Sickbay, truth be known he enjoyed moving about the ship tending to everyone.

Periodically Chakotay checked on Kathryn and Neelix brought her hot meals. Although not objecting to being restricted to lying down, she had insisted on remaining in her Ready Room to be readily available for any and all questions or consultations. The Doctor had finally allowed her to be on her feet after three days, but just to take care of private bodily functions. At that moment, either the Doctor or Chakotay would take her to the room and then stand nervously outside, waiting.

She still had a massive headache and when moving her head too fast experienced either a sharp pain or dizziness accompanied by nausea. Chakotay spent the evenings with her when not working somewhere and she anxiously awaited his arrival now.

At last the doors hissed open and he walked in.

"You're late," she said as she turned and looked at him.

"Sorry. Astrometrics was having a problem with power fluctuations and Seven, for some reason, couldn't repair it with her usual Borg expertise," he said with a laugh.

Kathryn smiled. "Did my 'fine Commander' fix it then?"

"Yes maam," he said with a smile. "So how are you feeling tonight?"

"Frustrated, nervous, fine, anxious," she replied with a wave of her hand in the air. "I just wish this headache would stop."

"That will take time but the Doctor says you are coming along very well and that after a couple more days he may allow you to walk around a bit."

"Couple more days! Chakotay, I need to get up. I'm going crazy. I just lay here and stare out this window and listen to you on the Comm or the repairs going on."

He smiled in understanding. "Actually, I'm surprised you haven't objected before this. I do think that Captain Janeway is actually obeying the Doctor's orders. It's a first and shows you realize just how badly you were injured."

She laughed. "The truth be known I haven't felt this bad or disoriented ever, but I feel much better now. Besides, I desperately want a shower."

He looked at her and chuckled. "Well I could hold you up while you shower."

Kathryn looked at him, a moment of shock in her eyes, then laughed at the mischievous look in his eyes.

"I felt so bad before you could have actually done that and I wouldn't have cared," she laughed.

"And now?" he asked.

"I do believe it would be slightly inappropriate . . . unless the Doctor orders it," she said with a husky laugh.

"In that case I shall have to have a talk with our good EMH."

Both laughed and then Kathryn said, "Oh that felt good to laugh, Chakotay. See what you do for me? You just continually take care of me and brighten my day."

He looked at her, not knowing how to answer. Oh he knew what he wanted to answer but that, too, was inappropriate for a Captain and her First Officer, so he didn't say anything.

Kathryn turned and looked at him when his silence continued and their eyes locked in a long, seemingly intimate look before Kathryn broke that mesmerizing moment by closing her eyes.

"Chakotay, how far are we from Earth?"

"About twelve to fourteen years I think," he answered softly.

"That long?" She looked out the window. "I don't know if I can stand it that long," she said, almost as if to herself.

Chakotay's heart jumped. He wasn't sure what she meant by that statement but he knew how he wanted to take it. "What do you mean by 'it'?"

She didn't answer; she just lay there instead with her eyes closed, thinking . . . you know what I mean Chakotay. I don't know whether I can keep you at arms length for that long.

Finally she looked at him and smiled. "I'm just tired and not myself is what I mean. It seems like a long time and yet you know how much I love space exploration." She smiled and put her hand on his cheek. "I think I better get some sleep now, my friend. Thanks for taking such good care of me."

Chakotay took hold of her hand and moved it away from his cheek. Didn't she know what those small gestures meant to him? Squeezing her hand he smiled and said he understood, but before placing her hand down beside her he impulsively lifted her hand to his lips and quickly brushed her fingertips, put her hand down and as he rose and headed for the door gave his usual, "Goodnight Kathryn. Sleep well."

As the doors hissed shut Kathryn continued to stare, her mind filled with the feeling his lips had left on her fingertips. Placing her fingers on her lips she looked out the window.

It doesn't matter what I do, what time it is or where I am; I see his face. I close my eyes and I see his face. I go to sleep and I dream of him. Those handsome features, those soft brown eyes, that gentle, loving nature. He always makes sure I'm safe. He looks to my every need. Both of us say it is his job as First Officer, but deep down inside we both know what the real reason is. Boy Kathryn you've got it bad and this situation has only served to heighten your feelings, and what makes it even worse is you can't even acknowledge your feelings to him.

She sighed and just then her door chimed.

"Come."

The Doctor walked in with a big smile. "How are you feeling tonight Captain?"

"Much better Doctor. When can I return to duty?"

"Ah ah, don't rush it. You have been an excellent patient this time, much to my surprise," he said as he ran his TriCorder over her body. "There," he said as he looked at its readings. "Much much better. Tomorrow I may let you walk around your room."

"Doctor I don't see why I can't get up now and move around. You're here, you can help me, or you can call Chakotay . . ."

The doctor frowned. "The Commander needs his sleep Captain. You don't have any idea how much work he is doing and how very worried he is about you . . ." His mouth clamped shut as if he had said something he shouldn't have.

"Worried about me? Why? He seems fine each time he comes in here to bring me up-to-date."

"That's because you are nearby. You may not realize this but he sees you as often as he can and virtually whenever he can. If you were in sickbay or in your quarters he would only be able to stop by in the morning and evening. With you so close . . . well, it has helped both of you to be truthful. Right now I have ordered him to get some sleep. Well," he said with a smug grin. "I have more patients to see. What would this ship do without me," he mused as he headed out the door.

Kathryn lay there a moment and then impulsively tapped her Com badge. "Janeway to Chakotay."

His answer was immediate. "Here Captain. Is something wrong?" he asked with a worried tone.

"No nothing is wrong. The doctor was just here and said I can probably start walking around tomorrow, but . . ."

"But?"

"He also said you were very worried about me," she said in a low, husky voice.

"Of course I'm worried. A severe concussion is serious. We can't have our Captain incapacitated now can . . ."

"Chakotay," she said interrupting him. "I don't think it's the Captain he meant you were worried about. If I can be honest, I think you are worried about Kathryn Janeway."

"They are one and the same aren't they Captain?"

She smiled at his evasiveness. "You know what I mean, Chakotay," she said in a low, almost seductive voice.

He was quiet, but she could hear his breathing, and it was rather rapid. She knew she had caught him by surprise with being so candid and smiled. She didn't know why she had suddenly blurted all that out, but it felt good.

"Kathryn . . . I . . . yes, I am concerned and worried about you personally and I probably shouldn't admit that."

She smiled and then decided to pursue the conversation. "Chakotay . . . when I asked you earlier how far we were from earth, did you wonder why?"

"In a way. But it wasn't so much what you asked as the tone you were asking it in."

"Do you think we can make it, Chakotay?"

"You will get us home, Kathryn."

"No. Will we make it?"

Again he was quiet and she could picture him trying to find a way to answer without getting his hopes up or being hurt. She had hurt him several times before by turning him down and regretted it each time, but it was necessary for the command protocols. All of a sudden she said out loud, "Damn Protocols . . . To hell with the command structure," forgetting he would hear it.

"Kathryn?" came his choked, surprised voice.

She was silent a moment as she thought over what she had blurted out. "Oh God. I don't know why I said that."

"I'm wondering the same thing."

"I don't know. It just . . . came out," she said in a rather flustered voice.

"You said it for a reason, Kathryn. Tell me what you meant," he said in a soft voice.

She sighed. Maybe it was time to be honest . . . A few moments passed before she finally spoke. "The truth, Chakotay?"

"The truth Kathryn."

"Yes, I guess it is time we were truthful. It's just that I know you care for me, and you have been so attentive and caring for the last few days and . . . I . . . well I care for you . . . much more than I should." Her heart pounded as she heard her words and suddenly her headache seemed better. "The problem is we can't do anything about it and shouldn't even think about it. So my damning protocols was my frustration and also why I was asking how much further Earth was."

"I was hoping that was the reason. You surprise me Kathryn, suddenly being so candid."

She chuckled. "Well I've been laying here on this couch for almost four days and had a lot of time to think. The ship has been just fine with you in control and even coming to see me every chance you could. The crew hasn't thought that much about it and well, I just started to wonder if by breaking the command structure . . . would it make any difference?"

"In my mind it wouldn't. But I've thought that all along. However, you are the Captain and it's your decision."

"Can we make it work without being . . . intimate? Without being an obvious couple? Would we have the mental discipline for that kind of relationship?" She closed her eyes and pictured him smiling . . . or more likely frowning and it made her smile.

"I think we can Kathryn," he said quietly after only a few seconds delay.

"I think so too, Chakotay," she said softly. "Well as you once said, we have a lot of time to think about it. Goodnight Chakotay," she said abruptly. "See you in the morning . . . breakfast in the Ready Room at 0700?"

"I'll be there Kathryn," he said with a lilt in his voice. "Any special order?"

She laughed. "Yes, just don't get too close to me or smile that damnable knee buckling smile of yours. I have a lot a adjusting to do to what I've just said."

He laughed softly. "Goodnight Kathryn, and sweet dreams."

She lay back and looked out the window, a big smile on her face. Right or wrong she had done it, she had confessed her feelings for him and it felt so right. She closed her eyes and pictured him in his quarters. He was probably smiling just like she was.

She murmured, "Thank you Khori vessel. If not for your attack this moment wouldn't have happened," and she closed her eyes and drifted to sleep with her mind's eye picturing Chakotay's handsome face.

FINIS

Jan 2001

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