Disclaimer: Voyager is no more, but no infringement intended. Just having some fun with some of the characters.

Living In an Abstract of Lost Time

by Dee Price


Chakotay groaned as the blackness in his mind slowly turned to gray, and he weakly raised his head and looked around. The fog in his brain kept things hazy but he soon realized he was in some sort of cave or hole.

He tried to sit up only to fall back with a scream as a jolt of pain shot through his body.

"Guess I've broken a few bones," he muttered hoarsely. "Where am I and how long have I been here?" he croaked as he weakly raised his head to look around. The effort proved to be too much and he lay back down for a few moments as his croaking voice merely reverberated off the surrounding walls.

Determined to get out of this predicament, and despite the pain ravaging his body, he managed to sit up, and then the full horror of his situation hit him, as he was suddenly faced with the realization that he could not move either of his legs -- they were both paralyzed! Knowing he could not now make it out of wherever he was without assistance, he felt his chest for his Comm badge. Relief flowed through his mind as it was still there. He pressed it, the chirp seeming to echo like a lost bird in this hole.

"Chakotay to Voyager," he managed to say.

His hail was met with silence.

"I'll try again in a few moments," he muttered weakly and then slipped back into the oblivion of blackness.

<> <> <> <>

Chakotay stirred and as he slowly opened his eyes he realized he was looking up at a white ceiling! He raised his head and glanced around. He was in some room and in some bed, but it definitely wasn't his quarters or Sick Bay on Voyager!

He dropped his head back on the pillow with a sigh of relief flooding through him, that someone had found him and not caring for the moment where he was. Suddenly his eyes came wide-awake! He smelled coffee!!

"What the heck," he muttered as he started to sit up. At that moment he realized he was stark naked and fell back onto the bed, now totally confused as to what was going on. After a moment he again raised his head and peered around the room for his clothing, but not only didn't see them, he didn't see anything he could slip on. Then he spotted a door. "Must be a closet," he mumbled softly. Well, he would just get up and get dressed and . . .

"Good morning sweetheart. Glad to see you awake. I have some hot coffee for you," she smiled, and then added, "You slept in this morning."

Chakotay stared wide-eyed as Kathryn Janeway walked into the room, a big smile on her face and carrying a cup of coffee. After setting it down on the nightstand, she bent over and kissed him, quite passionately Chakotay thought.

"How are you darling?" she asked.

He just lay there and stared at her, his mind in a complete whirl.

"S . . . sweetheart? Darling?" he stuttered.

Kathryn laughed. "Oh now, don't go playing one of your games. Come on now - sit up and drink your coffee."

Chakotay slowly started to move to a sitting position, making sure the bed sheet covered his hips as Kathryn reached for the coffee.

Just then a loud yell of "Daddy" was heard from across the room and a small boy raced in, jumped on the bed and leaped into Chakotay's chest, knocking him flat on the bed.

"Good morning, papa," the boy said and then as he continued to lay on Chakotay's chest, kissed him and then wrapped his small arms around Chakotay's neck.

Too stunned to say much of anything Chakotay just muttered "Good morning to you, too."

"Kolopak, you shouldn't jump on your father like that, especially so early in the morning. Now go play with your sister," admonished Kathryn.

"Okay mama," he replied, and then after kissing Chakotay again, said, "I love you daddy," and then crawled up to his feet and with a big yell of 'Wahoo!' leaped off the bed and ran out of the room.

Kathryn sat rubbing her forehead as she shook her head. Looking at Chakotay, she said with a small chuckle, "I know he is young and full of you know what, but that still frightens me when he does that."

Chakotay lay there staring at her, but she just smiled and again started for the coffee.

"Kathryn?"

"Yes, sweetheart," she said as she sat back down. "Here is your coffee, now sit up and drink it before it gets cold, which it probably already is," she said with a frown as she extended the cup towards him. "And you know how I hate cold coffee!"

As Chakotay sat up he looked at the cup and then Kathryn. What the heck is going on here? She calls me sweetheart and darling and then a boy named Kolopak runs in and calls me daddy and her mama.

"What is it you were going to say honey?"

He opened his mouth but no words came out and then he smiled, and as he shook his head and handed the cup back to her said, "This is going to sound crazy, but . . . well . . ."

"What is it sweetheart? You look worried," she said as she placed the cup on the nightstand.

"Like I said, this is going to sound crazy, but --- Kathryn, I don't remember this," and he flung his hand around the room.

Kathryn frowned but asked, "What do you mean?"

"Honestly Kathryn, I don't know about any of this. You calling me sweetheart, Kolopak . . . I . . ." He then grinned mischievously and asked, "Are we married?"

Kathryn chuckled lightly, although her brow remained furrowed. "Of course we are married."

"How long?"

"Five years and ten days," she said with a smile.

"Five years!" he said in a shocked tone. "And how old is Kolopak?

"He is three years old and Katy is one," she replied with a loving smile.

"And where are we . . . some planet? Did Voyager finally give up the ghost?"

Kathryn's frown deepened. "No - we made it back to Earth and we are living on Dorvan IV. Chakotay, are you saying you don't remember anything?"

"No, yes, I don't know. I just don't recall any of this, especially our getting together, and believe me I would remember that!"

"Tell me the last thing you remember," she said quietly as she took hold of his hand.

"I was in some cave or hole in the ground and I knew I had broken something, but when I hailed Voyager, there wasn't any response. Now I'm here. I'm . . . I feel lost . . . confused!"

The furrow on her brow now resembled a plowed field and as she looked at him with sad eyes, said quietly mused, "It's happened."

"What's happened?"

She sighed deeply. "When we found you in that cave, you seemed fine, other than some broken bones and . . ." she stopped suddenly and looked away for a moment. "Anyway the doctor detected something in your brain waves and said that sometime in the future you may have reverse amnesia, or retrograde as he termed it."

"I still don't understand," he said quietly.

"Tell you what," she said, trying to be bright and sunny. "Let's get you dressed and have some breakfast. It's a beautiful day and we can go sit in the backyard and I'll tell you everything." With that she stood up and pulled the sheet off him.

"Kathryn!" he yelled as he quickly placed his hands over his groin area.

"What?" she asked with a frightened look on her face.

"I'm naked, that's what!"

She laughed loudly. "I've seen you naked for five years sweetheart." She again frowned. "Or would you rather I call you Chakotay now?"

He grinned as he pulled one end of the sheet over his lower body. "No, I rather like hearing those sweet names."

She smiled, although the worried look remained on her face, and turned for the dresser. After opening a drawer she pulled out a Polo shirt and tossed it to him. "Put this on while I get your boxers and trousers."

In a reflexive reaction, Chakotay caught the shirt and as he put it on Kathryn gathered his underpants and trousers. She deftly swung his legs over the side so he was sitting on the edge of the bed, knelt down by his feet and lifted one foot and slid one leg into the boxers. As she repeated the procedure for the other leg she heard a sound and looked up.

Chakotay had gasped and now had a stricken look on his countenance as he realized he couldn't move his legs.

"I can't move my legs, Kathryn!"

"I know, sweetheart. I might as well tell you that you are paralyzed from the hips down. The doctor says that sometime in the future they might devise a . . ."

"I'm a cripple!"

"You are not a cripple! You are a vital, alert and healthy man, whom I love very much," she added softly as she stared up at him with her blue eyes.

The children's squeals could be heard in the other room and suddenly Chakotay's expression changed as he wondered, based on his physical situation how . . .

Kathryn, seeing the look on his face, and sensing his unasked question, laughed. "Oh I assure you, honey, they are ours."

"How?" he croaked, "When I'm paralyzed."

"Only your legs are paralyzed my wonderful man, only your legs. You are very much alive in other places."

Chakotay felt his face getting hot as Kathryn then slipped both legs of his trousers on, then with both shorts and trousers lying on the floor around his feet, she stood and walked to the far end of the closet, and pulled out a six foot high apparatus. As she wheeled it over to him he wondered what it was for. After positioning it in front of him and locking the wheels she looked at him, expecting him to do what he had done for five years, completely forgetting for a moment he didn't remember.

"Okay, my love, just reach up and grab those two bars and pull yourself to your feet so I can put your pants on."

Chakotay looked up at the bars and then did as he was told, pulling himself to a standing position. He grunted as he realized he had to hold on tight to support himself.

"Hold on -- don't let go or you'll fall on me," she said with a light chuckle as she knelt down and grabbed hold of the boxer's waistband and started to pull them up. Before pulling them all the way she suddenly bent her head forward and kissed his penis. The organ responded immediately and started to rise as Chakotay's head jerked up, he gasped and his eyes went wide. As she finished pulling the boxers to his waist Kathryn looked up at him with a very smug expression on her face.

"See, honey, I told you that you were active in other areas," she said. "In fact, that rascally devil is not only alive and well, but extremely proficient, not to mention satisfying," and as she bent down to pull up his trousers, she squeezed his now throbbing organ with her hand, causing Chakotay to again gasp, this time quite audibly, and he now stood, staring straight ahead, fully embarrassed and his cheeks showing a definite hue of red under his bronze skin. Kathryn laughed, a throaty, sexy laugh as she zipped up his fly.

"Okay, sweetheart, you can sit down now while I get your chair," she said, amused at his reaction as he just let himself drop to the bed and quickly placed his hands over the 'spike' in his pants.

Kathryn wheeled the apparatus away and then left the room for a moment, returning almost immediately sitting in a motorized chair.

He smiled as he saw her sitting in it and moving towards him. She positioned it beside the bed but facing him, locked the wheels and then knelt in front of him. He instinctively banged his knees together, causing her to laugh out loud.

"Put your arms over my shoulders and hang on while I stand and lift you until you can put one hand on the arm of the chair and lower yourself into the chair."

"I'm too heavy for you. I'll hurt your back," he protested.

"Sweetheart, I've been doing this for five years, now move it buster!"

"Yes Captain," he said in an automatic response to her tone.

"That's a good First Officer," she laughed.

Finally he made it into the chair and she showed him the control panel and then turned and started walking towards the door. Chakotay looked at the control a moment, thought this is a piece of cake and pressed down on the 'Fwd' panel.

The motorized chair shot forward, running right into the back of Kathryn's legs and causing her to fall into his lap, stopping only when it crashed into the doorframe.

"That is exactly what you did the very first time you sat in that chair five years ago, only then you did it on purpose." She started laughing and was laughing so hard she had tears coursing down her cheeks. Chakotay at first very chagrined, soon joined her and they both laughed so hard the children came in to see what was so funny.

"Daddy is just a bad driver, Kolopak," Kathryn gasped between laughs, and then looking back at him with a leer, said "And I like what I'm feeling," as she wiggled her behind on his lap. Chakotay immediately blushed again.

Kathryn then placed her hand over Chakotay's and with an extremely gentle push pressed down on 'Back' and the chair backed up. She repeated the gentle touch on 'Fwd' and the chair and its occupants moved through the door, down the hall and into the kitchen, where Kathryn stopped just short of the table.

Rising, she bent down and brushed his lips with hers, said, "Just be gentle" and then with a laugh walked toward the stove. "Breakfast is scrambled eggs, toast and juice, okay?"

Chakotay still feeling embarrassed by the past events tried to hide it by saying, "You're cooking? Do I need a shot first?"

Kathryn placed her hands on her hips and with a glare said, "I'll have you know I have cooked our meals for over five years mister." Then she giggled at his surprised expression and turned to the task at hand.

Chakotay looked at her for a moment, and then pulled the chair nearer to the table and placing both hands on his face, shook his head.

What has happened to me? Have I slid into another universe? Kathryn tells me she is my wife and has been for five years and we have two children, two facts that I have desired with all my being while on Voyager. This can't be true! Something's wrong. Where am I? The only thing to ring true is being unable to move my legs. I remember that when I was in that cave. I feel so confused. I've lost five years of my life. Is this really me or someone else?

He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up. Kathryn was bending down to him, looking very concerned. "Are you all right sweetheart?"

"No! I'm not all right. You know I'm not all right, Kathryn. What's happened to me? What's happened for five years that I don't remember?"

She immediately wrapped her arms around him and in a gentle voice said, "I told you I'll explain absolutely everything after we have had breakfast. I promise. You will understand in a short time, so please don't get upset. You are all right, Chakotay, really you are."

"Kathryn I don't mean to sound ungrateful. You tell me we are married and I see our two children in the front room, and believe me, that is something I wished for with all my heart while on Voyager, but I don't remember any of it!"

"You will understand shortly, darling. Now let me get our breakfast and after we eat we'll go out on the back porch and I'll tell you everything."

"Everything?" he asked in a voice unlike that of a child.

"I promise."

Following their meal Kathryn opened the door to the deck and motioned for him to come out. "Remember, just a gentle touch, honey, or I'll have to go pick you up from out there on the lawn," she finished with a chortle.

It took two tries for Chakotay to negotiate the door and he almost ran off the deck but managed to stop in time. He looked up with a frown.

"How long did it take the other Chakotay to learn this?"

"It took YOU about two days. Now let's go over in the corner in the shade," and she walked toward the chair. Upon reaching it she watched Chakotay backing into position beside her chair.

He looked up with a smug grin. "Then I'm better than him!" Kathryn couldn't help it despite his use of the word 'him' and burst out laughing and before sitting down she kissed him soundly.

"You are the best," she said softly and then sat down. She looked out at the distant mountains for a moment before turning to him and as she expected, he was staring intently at her, waiting, as if he expected the worst possible news.

"You said the last thing you remember was being in that cave, so we'll start there. After you had been down on the planet for a while I became concerned because you hadn't checked in and tried hailing you. When you didn't respond I had Harry try to locate your Comm Badge and when that failed we started to use our sensors.

"As it turned out something in the soil was blocking our sensors and we couldn't find you. Meanwhile, even in your paralyzed condition, and using your hands and elbows, which were virtually raw meat by the time we did find you, you pulled yourself along a tunnel until you found an opening.

"I had a team already in the Transporter Room when you hailed us, but it still took us several minutes to pinpoint your location and then we beamed you directly to Sick Bay. In the doctor's exam, except for your legs, hands, elbows and a few bumps and bruises, the doctor found only a slight concussion. You seemed basically healthy."

"I remember trying to hail you, but didn't get any response," said Chakotay.

"That's what you told us in Sick Bay and then you apparently passed out. Anyway, when you again regained consciousness you realized you had to move and crawled to an opening as I stated before and then hailed us again."

"I don't remember that or being in Sick Bay."

Kathryn just nodded her head. "The doctor kept you in Sick Bay for quite a while as he attempted to work on your legs, but there wasn't anything he could do as the paralysis appeared un-fixable, if there is such a word. That's when he discovered a problem."

"Here's the bomb," said Chakotay somberly.

"No, no bomb, honey. He called me to Sick Bay and showed me your brain wave, which appeared normal to me, but he then brought up a scan of your brain and pointed out a small, what I'd call for lack of medical jargon, a pinprick. When I asked what it was he informed me you must have damaged a certain part of your brain and that the damage occurred in the Temporal Lobe, or wherever our memories are stored. I'm a bit hazy on which lobe, as he was talking so much technical jargon I lost him a few times."

She looked at Chakotay a moment before continuing to see if he had any comment or question. When he didn't indicate he would question anything she continued.

"He then said you had acted strangely the day before and so he had run some more tests, including questions. Well you know our EMH how he tends to ramble and get full of himself . . ."

Chakotay chuckled at that, which made Kathryn smile.

"So I asked him to cut to the chase and he informed me you basically had a very rare kind of amnesia. . ."

"Amnesia!" Chakotay exploded. "That's ridiculous I remember everything about going down to the planet and finding that cave and then falling into a hole." He stopped suddenly. "I don't know why I said that."

"Because that's what happened that day Chakotay. Your mind is clear up through that fall! You remember the Borg, the Kazon, and the Vidiaan's?"

"Yes - how could I forget them?"

"See? Everything prior to your fall you remember, but after the fall, even though you looked and acted normal you actually weren't. He called it some medical term, which I've since forgotten but it was something like retrograde amnesia. I can't really explain it, Chakotay, except every day you were the Chakotay we all knew, but your brain wasn't accepting or processing what happened each day. It's like you . . ."

"I was in a dream world even though I was living and acting like Chakotay every day?" he suggested.

Kathryn rubbed her forehead then nodded, "Something like that, sweetheart. I guess that's as good as analogy as any, but the doctor referred to it as your memory being broken or like being in an abstract of time. I listened to the doctor ramble on and on about it until my own mind went blank but he told me that if the spot were to eventually or suddenly heal over, it was very likely you would wake up one morning and think you had just been hauled out of that cave, which is what happened to you this morning. I'm actually surprised it took five years, as I thought it would happen within a year."

Chakotay nodded his head. "But how do you know it's really me? Maybe I'm from an alternate universe."

"You are my Chakotay! Do you think for one moment I wouldn't know a different Chakotay? The doctor ran tests, he ran a DNA, a bone scan a . . ."

"Aha! See - even he thought I wasn't the real one."

"Sweetheart he ran all those tests trying to determine the facts of your case, to see about your legs as well as the lesion on your brain and then compared them to your previous records. I didn't even bring it up, he did. He said, and I quote, 'I've even checked every one of his readings with his past history and asked questions, so there can't be any doubt this is our Commander. He is definitely 'our Commander Chakotay,' so the next thing I have to determine is how the injury to his spinal cord occurred."

"An alternate Chakotay would have a duplicate reading on everything, Kathryn, you know that."

"But the answers to the questions would have a slight variance to them, you know that as well. We are the same physically in another universe but the events are slightly altered."

"I guess," said Chakotay with a slight shrug. He then frowned and looked at her. "But you still haven't told me everything."

"I did! I told you all I know about your amnesia. I supposed I should inform the doctor that you are out of your amnesiac state, but . . ."

"I mean about us - when did we get together, when did Voyager get home, the children, living here on Dorvan . . ."

Kathryn smiled. "In due time my love. First, I need some coffee. You?"

"If there is tea I would prefer that." Then he said, "And you know I don't drink coffee. When did I start drinking that? That only proves I'm not the real Chakotay!"

Kathryn giggled but ignored that rhetoric. "Back in a minute," and as she rose she reached out and squeezed his hand and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and then disappeared into the house. Chakotay watched her walk away, thinking how much he liked the attention this Kathryn was giving him and then shook his head and sighed. "If only I could remember and be sure this is really me, that this situation is real."

While Kathryn was making the beverages Kolopak came out holding Katy's hand. He marched over to Chakotay and said, "Papa, Katy and I are going to play tag out on the lawn, okay?"

"Okay, but just be careful with your little sister," said Chakotay with a smile.

Kolopak laughed. "You say the same thing every time, papa."

"Well at least I'm consistent," he said with a chuckle. "Let her tag you once in awhile."

"I do papa. Come on Katy, tag you're it!" and then he ran across the lawn, with Katy, moving as fast as her small legs allowed, going after him.

Chakotay sat grinning as he watched them play and soon Kathryn appeared with the tea for him and coffee for her. She took a few sips as she watched the children, and giggled when Katy acted like she was hurt one time and when a concerned Kolopak ran up to her, tagged him and toddled off. Kolopak's reaction was to fall to the ground and laugh hysterically at being duped. This also caused Kathryn and Chakotay to laugh loudly, with Kathryn saying as she looked at Chakotay, "That ought to prove they are our children . . . they each have a very mischievous sense of humor." Chakotay didn't respond, just continued to watch them as he sipped his tea.

"All right," said Kathryn after a few more minutes, "are you ready for some more?"

"Yes, but first tell me how the crew accepted me after they found out I couldn't walk anymore."

Kathryn grinned widely. "There wasn't any question you couldn't do your duty at all. While you were in Sick Bay almost everyone came by to give their regards and see if there was anything they could do for you. In fact, even while the doctor was still testing you Tom and Harry started building that chair you are sitting in, so you could move around the ship."

"They did this?"

"They certainly did, with a little help from B'Elanna and some other Engineering people. It took them about three models before they got it right, but they did it. I asked them not to give it to your right away as I knew you wouldn't be responsive, and that would hurt their feelings after all the work they had put into it. The day the doctor released you from Sick Bay to your quarters they presented it to you. I was so proud of them and you felt so humble by their actions. You even told Tom you guessed you owed him another life and he really got a kick out of that.

"At first you felt embarrassed moving around the ship in your chair and then it became like a toy to you as you scooted from one place to another." Both Chakotay and Kathryn chuckled at that.

"After Tom and Harry built that chair, the Maintenance Department decided to build you that "Stand Up" apparatus, as they called it, so everyone was looking out for you and wanting to help in any way they could. They wanted to make sure you knew they wanted you."

Chakotay looked at Kathryn, emotion filling his eyes. "What about you, Kathryn? When you saw my condition, when you realized I would never walk again, what did you think?"

Kathryn looked at him with very loving eyes. "When the doctor told me about the condition of your legs, that you likely would never walk again, at first I felt devastated. Not because you couldn't walk, but because you wouldn't be at my side. You had promised me in your Angry Warrior speech that you would always be at my side and now it appeared you wouldn't be.

"So as I stood there looking down at you I vowed I would always be at your side, because as I saw you being brought into Sick Bay it suddenly hit me how very, very much I loved you and I became determined that I wasn't going to let something like paralyzed legs take you away from me. But I have to admit to you now, it was quite a battle."

"Why?"

"Simply because you didn't want me to feel obligated; you didn't want me to feel I had to take care of a cripple. You kept telling me to leave you alone, to please don't feel obligated to help. Oh I tell you - we had some mighty fine arguments over that."

Chakotay just looked out at the children now lying on the grass with Kolopak pointing up at the clouds. What makes her think I still don't think I'm a hindrance to her he thought? Suddenly he realized she was talking again, after taking another sip of her coffee.

"I spent hours in Sick Bay talking to you, holding your hand when you became angry or despondent, sometimes agreeing with your anger but never letting you become depressed for more than a minute or so. I cajoled, wheedled, argued, pleaded and even yelled at you trying to make you understand you were still a vital, useful part of our crew. I just refused to even let you think of giving up! In fact the Doctor threatened to throw me out of Sick Bay one day after the two of us yelled at one another, saying, "Captain, I really have to tell you to stop yelling at the Commander. Our patient needs help not badgering!"

Chakotay chuckled at that. "I can hear him now."

Kathryn laughed. "I know - he had such a tone when he got like that. But I refused to leave and continued to talk to you every day. Tuvok even seemed to understand I wouldn't be on the Bridge, and simply took over and would report to me off and on during the day about the goings on of the ship."

Chakotay frowned. "You didn't leave Sick Bay? Even at night?"

"No sweetheart. I slept on one of the beds. I was determined to stay with you until you realized you were not a detriment, to me, or the crew. At last you seemed to understand I wasn't going to leave you and I think at that moment, at that exact moment . . . it was like an electric current going between us . . . we both knew instinctively that we were going to be together for the rest of our lives. We didn't say the words, we just looked at one another and we knew.

"When the doctor finally released you to your quarters I virtually lived there. I thought 'to hell with protocol'. This is not only my First Officer and my best friend, but the man I loved, the man I intended to spend the rest of my life with."

"The crew?" asked Chakotay.

"They never questioned it. In fact B'Elanna told me privately that everyone was saying it was 'about time' and that some even were so bold as to say it was too bad it took such an accident for me to see the light."

"When did you tell me you loved me?" he asked softly.

"That first night in your quarters. After I helped you into bed I knelt down and kissed you - our very first kiss - and as you looked at me I told you that I loved you and nothing was ever going to change the way I felt and that I was sorry it took me so long to 'bend'." Tears formed in Kathryn's eyes now as she remembered that moment and she swiped them away before saying, "You told me you loved me too, and that when we got back to Earth, if I still felt the same way for a 'cripple,' you had a very important question to ask me. I laughed and told you the answer was 'yes' and you better not forget to ask."

"We got married on Earth then or Voyager?"

"On Earth, and I'll tell you about that later."

Chakotay was quiet a moment and then quietly, almost shyly asked, "This may seem a strange, maybe uncalled for or out-of-line question, but . . . did we ever make love before we got married?"

Kathryn reached out and took hold of his hand. "Yes," she said softly. "We did and you are a fantastic lover."

A stricken look flashed across his face. "How could I make love to you when I can't move my legs - when I'm not a man!"

"Oh honey, you are all man, believe me! We found ways and although I'll admit that first time was rather - shall we say a trial - we found a way and we were both completely satisfied. In fact," and she chuckled, "I had you make love to me three times that first night."

Chakotay turned and looked at her with a shocked look on his face. "Three times?" he croaked in an unbelieving tone.

"Uh huh. It - and you - were that good! It was a long satisfying night for both of us."

"Must have been in an area of space like The Void," he said with a laugh.

Kathryn joined him in the laughter. "That was some experience in that area of space wasn't it?"

Not wanting her to get sidetracked on Voyager's activities as yet, he went back to their discussion.

"Before telling me when and how we reached Earth, tell me when we got married?"

Kathryn smiled as she said, "Almost immediately after we got home. Of course we had the celebrations of our return and the debriefings to go through, but even during that time we made our plans and when that business was finished and we were released by Starfleet for the start of a three months leave, we married the next week. We arranged for the ceremony to take place on the Bridge of Voyager, which we both thought was rather appropriate, as that's where we met. Only the Senior Officers were present as we couldn't accommodate everyone on the Bridge or even the Holodeck, but as the entire crew wanted to be involved and were on board Voyager, we televised it around the ship, and then following the ceremony we had a large party in the Cargo Bay. Some members of the crew had decorated it and did a beautiful job. It was a very festive night."

"I wish I could remember that night," he said wistfully.

"You will honey. Now that you are back to the 'old' Chakotay, I will talk to you everyday and tell you about everything that happened, from the moment we beamed you back to Voyager until today. I'm sure something, sometime, will cause you to start remembering and it's possible you might even start having some flashbacks."

He got a mischievous look in his eyes and grinned. "That's five years of your talking. I don't know whether I can stand that!"

That broke Kathryn up and she had a hearty laugh, which made Chakotay laugh too. He loved to hear her laugh.

"When did we get home?" he suddenly asked after they were quiet for a moment.

"One year after your accident. We found a wormhole, thanks to Lt Barclay and emerged into the Alpha Quadrant only three days from Earth. But," she added in a somber tone, "That year was a harrowing one."

"How so?"

"Oh we met several new species, some of whom were not very friendly. One in particular, but," and she glanced at her chronometer, "Enough of that for now. It's time for lunch."

"All ready? I'm really not very hungry Kathryn."

"Our children are and you will be too. I'm fixing some Cream of Mushroom soup, which is one of your favorites."

"You or the replicator?" he asked with a smirk.

She laughed as she stood. "Your sense of humor hasn't gotten lost in time, I can tell you that!" and she bent down, placed a hand on his cheek, looked at him for a second, and then kissed him gently as she said, "I love you Chakotay, very much."

He swallowed, wanting to say those words to her, but couldn't. She seemed to understand as she straightened and called out to the children to come in and wash up. Chakotay watched them race into the house and then turned to look out over the mountains. Yes, this was definitely Dorvan, and this must be his old cabin, although it definitely had some changes made, probably to accommodate his chair. He looked down at it and smiled. So Tom and Harry had made it. Suddenly he felt a lump in his throat and swallowed hard as he closed his eyes for a moment.

He heard the dishes rattle in the kitchen and using a gentle touch turned his chair and headed for the door. He almost made it on the first try, having to back up to straighten his angle, but noticed Kathryn was seemingly not paying any attention to his difficulty, at least she was pretending not to, he thought.

"Is the bathroom in the same place?"

"Yep," she said. "I'll show you how you manipulate that chair."

He felt a momentary rush of anger and then realizing he really would need help, followed her down the hall and into the bathroom. He immediately noticed two handlebars on each side of the seat. Two were high and two were lower.

"It's quite simple honey. Position your chair here," and she pointed. After he moved to that position she pointed to a button on his panel on the chair. "Now push that panel that says 'left down' and see what happens."

He pressed the button and the left arm of his chair slid down and out of the way. He looked up at Kathryn and grinned. "Those two thought of everything."

She nodded her head and then asked, "Do you want me to help you? Do you have to sit or just stand?"

"Just stand and I think I can do it."

"Okay sweetheart. Come to the table when you are finished," and she walked out and shut the door.

Chakotay felt immense gratitude to Kathryn. She knew he would struggle on this, with the possibility of falling down, but Kathryn, in her smart way, was letting him figure it out.

<> <> <> <>

Following lunch, Kathryn told the children to go to their room and take their naps. Chakotay watched in amazement as both simply turned and headed for their beds.

"They mind very well."

"It's your doing honey. You shower them with love and have taught them to have respect as well as giving them discipline. You also shower me with love and the children see that." She then looked at him with so much love in her eyes he felt weak. "This house is full of love, for each of us, you, me and the children, and for the land and also your cultural traditions. I love it here on Dorvan IV and am so thankful we decided to live here instead of the hustle-bustle of some city on Earth."

"What about Starfleet?"

"I resigned at the end of our medical leave and I haven't regretted that decision for a second. I am so happy here with you and when Kolopak and then Katy were born I felt complete. I had the man I loved and two beautiful children. What more could I ask for?"

"A complete man," he said softly.

She knelt down in front of him and in a stern and yet loving voice said, "You are complete. Legs don't make the man or the husband."

"But you have to take care of me," he complained.

"And I love doing it . . . I love fussing over you," she said with a loving smile. "Besides, you swore you would always be at my side and you have been, through thick and thin. Simply because you can't walk doesn't mean you don't protect or love me, because you are very protective and despite my fierce independence, I have found that I like that. So, like you vowed to always be at my side, I made a vow to you to be at your side through thick and thin . . . and I always will be." She then grinned as she stood up and added in a 'Captainesque' tone, "So get used to it."

Chakotay gave her a genuine smile. "Thank you. I guess I needed that lecture."

Kathryn ignored his last remark and said, "Let's go out by the tree and sit on the grass like we always do after lunch, and I'll continue telling you what you want to know."
She turned and headed out the door and off the deck, leaving him to figure out how to get down that one step to the grass.

Chakotay wheeled out onto the deck and looked around. There wasn't a ramp, so he sat and studied that one step. He could take a run at it but would probably end up in a heap on the ground and Kathryn would have to somehow help him back into the chair. He could try to tip the front wheels up, as it wasn't a deep step.

Kathryn stood in the middle of the lawn watching him, biting her lip in anxiety and wondering if she should have stayed back and helped him. No, let him figure it out. He has been very defensive about his handicap.

Finally he looked up at her. "I hate to admit it, but on this first time could you help me, Kathryn?"

She smiled and walked back, squeezing his hand and kissing him on the cheek as she reached him. "Thank you for asking me, sweetheart. I'll help you any time; I just don't want you to resent me for it. I've already been down that road," she said with a husky laugh."

"I'll never resent you Kathryn. I'm just not used to getting help I guess. Was I this bad on Voyager?"

"Worse!" she laughed. "Ten times worse," she smirked. She then showed him a switch on the other side of the chair. "That switch will tip your chair back while at the same time extending the front legs. You can then roll off onto the lawn without tipping over because your weight is leaning back and those long front legs will keep you stabilized."

"Well I'll be," said Chakotay as he flipped the switch and felt his body being tipped back. He then slowly rolled forward. The front legs rolled off the deck onto the lawn while the back legs were still on the deck, keep his chair virtually level and stable. There was a slight bounce when the back wheels rolled from the deck to the lawn but the chair remained completely stable. When he was down on the lawn he flipped the switch again, thus retracting the front legs and then followed her to the tree.

"Tom and Harry sure thought of everything didn't they?"

"That's why it took them three models to perfect. They, and others, kept thinking of obstacles you would need to overcome to feel independent."

"I need to thank them," said Chakotay.

"You have sweetheart. A thousand times, so the next time you see them don't mention it unless you want Tom's fist in your mouth."

Chakotay laughed and looked at the tree and noted a 'T' bar hanging down from a limb. Kathryn took hold of it and said, "It's motorized in a way. You hold it to lift yourself out of the chair, then on the left side of the bar is a button that will lower you to the ground; the button on the right will pull you up. Once you are on the ground just use your hands and arms to scoot yourself back to the tree."

Chakotay took hold of the bar and examined it carefully. "Did Harry and Tom come up with this idea, too?"

"No, you did."

Chakotay grinned broadly. "I'm a pretty smart fellow," and then both laughed.

After Chakotay had wormed his way back to the tree he leaned back with a big sigh and then was startled when Kathryn knelt down and pulled both legs apart. His heart started to pound and then he saw her sit down between his legs with her back to him and scoot back as close to him as she could. Leaning back into his chest and taking hold of both his arms, she placed them around her waist, and gave a contented sigh.

"We also do this every evening and watch the sunset, but I thought it would be nice now for the rest of our conversation. Are you comfortable, sweetheart?"

"Yes, I'm actually quite comfortable," he said, and then tightened his arms around her, which made Kathryn smile contentedly. What happened next is what she hoped and expected --- movement in Chakotay's groin. She moved her head to his shoulder so she could turn and look at him and then chuckled lightly. He was aware of it also and again had a rosy hue on his cheeks.

"Sorry," he said, "I'm not used to having you close like this."

"Don't ever be sorry for that honey," she whispered. "You know, the children will be in bed for an hour." He looked down at her and saw desire in those blue eyes.

Flustered he stammered, "It's broad daylight, Kathryn, and what if they got up early?"

"I know, but I just wanted to warn you to be prepared for tonight," she said seductively. Chakotay closed his eyes as he dare not look at her and tried to think of a topic of conversation so he could calm down.

"Soooo . . ." he said, dragging it out, and then stopped not knowing what to say next. He found he really didn't want to talk, as he liked holding Kathryn like this. Kathryn just remained silent and waiting. She didn't want to push too much information at him. Chakotay then cleared his throat.

"Kathryn, would you mind if we hold off on bringing me up-to-date. I'm having trouble digesting what you've told me so far. I'd like to just think on it the rest of the day and see if I can remember any of it. I feel a little overwhelmed, especially regarding our situation, so is that all right?"

"Whatever you want is fine with me, honey. We can just sit here or I can start rubbing your legs."

"Rubbing my legs?"

"Yes, every morning and evening I massage your legs, trying to keep the muscles flexible and the circulation going. The doctor says it is part of your therapy." She chuckled then and added, "Kolopak and Katy always help, but I doubt their little fingers dig deep enough, but it's the thought that counts."

Kathryn moved away from Chakotay and started to massage his right leg. A few moments later Kolopak and Katy came out and seeing what Kathryn was doing, each squatted down and started to rub his left leg. Chakotay smiled as he watched them, they were so serious about it!

After Kathryn finished both legs she sat down on the grass and watched as Kolopak started to crawl over Chakotay's legs. Chakotay suddenly reached out, grabbed him and started tickling him. Kolopak giggled loudly and squirmed away, but Chakotay made a sort of diving grab at him and his upper body flopped to one side. Kolopak immediately hopped on his chest and yelled for him to say 'Uncle'. Chakotay immediately realized that he and Kolopak must have some sort of on-going wrestling match, so he pushed and grunted in playacting to get Kolopak off him, saying he wouldn't give up.

Kathryn and Katy sat watching this fun and finally Katy said, "Daddy and Kolopak are silly aren't they mama?"

She wrapped her arms around Katy and agreed 'those men were silly' and that at least the two of them were ladies. Katy solemnly nodded her head in agreement, but still smiled at the goings on of the two 'wrestlers.' Kathryn's felt 'warm fuzzies' at seeing Chakotay wrestle with Kolopak. He would be himself someday, she was sure of it!

Finally Chakotay gave up and had called 'uncle' and then laid on his back looking up at the blue sky with a few lonely clouds. Kolopak immediately moved so he was lying on his back on top of Chakotay's chest and he too, looked up at the sky as Chakotay wrapped his arms around him. Kathryn suddenly felt like she wanted to cry when she saw that and wished she had a holo imager. That picture was a 'keeper'.

They spent the rest of the afternoon just being lazy and having casual conversation, then braving a 'no,' Kathryn suggested they go into town for dinner, that they did this on occasion and it would give him a chance to see his old village and some of his friends.

Chakotay worried about what to say when friends greeted him, but after Kathryn convinced him to just play along and be casual, he agreed. The outing proved to be fun and relaxing, as Chakotay enjoyed seeing his friends again, even though for him in the present, it was the first time. He felt overjoyed on the way home that he hadn't fouled up and that no one seemed to sense he really didn't know everything they were talking about. Kathryn stepped in a couple of times and bluffed him through it, feeding him clues on what to say.

A short time after getting home they put the children to bed. Chakotay looked up at Kathryn as they came out of the room.

She was looking down at him and after kneeling down, said in a husky voice, "I know it's a little early, but how about our going to bed now?"

Chakotay's whole body reacted to that thought and all he could do was nod his head and say, "Fine."

After Kathryn got him undressed she rolled him into bed, but on his right side, which puzzled Chakotay for a moment. Suddenly he knew what that meant and became frightened. With a big shove on the bed with his hands he rolled the upper part of his body onto his back. Kathryn, ready to climb into bed on the other side, noticed and walked back to his side.

"You want to be on your back honey?"

"Yes," he said quietly.

"Okay," and she lifted the sheets and straightened his legs and then returned to her side of the bed, slipped off her robe and Chakotay saw her naked, beautiful body and swallowed.

Kathryn moved over to him, snuggling up close and placing her head on his shoulder and one arm across his chest.

"It's been quite a day for you hasn't it?" my love.

"Very much so, Kathryn. It has completely worn me out, strangely enough. I feel very tired," he lied. "Guess it's just trying to absorb such a change that my mind is numb."

Kathryn hugged him and said, "Well then get some sleep, my love," and after snuggling her head to a more comfortable position on his shoulder became quiet. Chakotay, his heart pounding wildly, lay still, but soon he heard Kathryn's deep breathing and knew she was asleep. He relaxed a little after that, but it still took him an hour to get to sleep.

<> <> <> <>

It was early morning when Kathryn opened her eyes and then quickly turned her head towards Chakotay, only to find him wide-awake and just looking at her.

"Good morning, sweetheart," she said. "Have a good night's sleep?"

"Fine - what about you?"

"I slept very sound and had a good night."

"Even if I disappointed you?" he asked.

She rose up on her elbow. "What on earth do you mean disappointed me?"

"I . . . I didn't make love to you and I know you wanted me to."

"Oh sweetheart, she said. "Please don't worry about something like that. Sure it would have been nice, but I wasn't disappointed. Actually I didn't expect you to."

"I wanted to, you know that don't you? I really wanted to, but somehow, after all that happened, my waking up into virtually a different world, I just, well I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Can you forgive me?"

"Sweetheart," she said placing a hand gently on his cheek. "There is nothing to forgive. You will make love to me when you have adjusted and accepted what has happened to you. It will happen when you're ready and until then I'm content to have you at my side, so don't think anymore about it."

Chakotay swallowed and said, "I'll try, but I still feel I disappointed you."

She cuddled up close beside him and after placing her head on his shoulder said, "It was really my fault."

"What do you mean?"

"Yesterday morning when you woke up . . . I fondled and kissed you like I always do, and here you were waking up out of your amnesia. It must have been very confusing and quite shocking to you."

Chakotay chuckled. "I have to admit it surprised the hell out of me. So much so that I didn't really have time to enjoy it. Do you do that often?"

"Quite often, my love," she laughed. "We are always showing our love to one another in various ways and in time you will remember . . . and I hope enjoy it!"

He laughed again and said, "I think part of my problem is that I didn't know how amorous Captain Janeway could be!"

Kathryn laughed loudly at that. "You did mention that one night on Voyager, and my response was 'you ain't seen nothing yet' and you said you could hardly wait!"

They were quiet a few moments and then Kathryn asked what time it was. Chakotay responded he had no idea so she told him to check the clock on his nightstand.

"It's 5:45."

Kathryn sighed and at the same time chuckled quietly. "In a few moments the children will be up and when they get up just lie still. Don't do anything and don't help in anyway."

"Why? What happens?"

"You'll see," she said with a laugh.

At 6 a.m. they heard a thump, thump, followed by the sound of running feet down the hall. Kolopak and Katy came running into the room both shouting, "Good morning Mama, good morning papa!"

Kolopak then jumped up onto the bed and almost in the same motion lay face down across both Chakotay and Kathryn's legs. He reached down and grabbed both of Katy's extended hands and after she placed one tiny foot up on the bedspring he pulled and she pushed up with her foot. This brought her up on the bed, and both immediately crawled to each parent, and gave them a big, sloppy kiss. Then both started jumping up and down on the bed, giggling the whole time. Chakotay watched, amazed as they maintained their balance and not once in all the wild jumping did they step on Kathryn's legs. He, of course, had no idea whether they stepped on his, as he wouldn't have felt it anyway. Chakotay felt Kathryn's body shaking and turned his head. Kathryn had a hand up over her face and Chakotay realized she was trying to conceal her laughter.

Just as suddenly as it began it stopped, with Kolopak then crawling on top of Chakotay's chest and wrapping his arms around Chakotay's neck while little Katy crawled under the covers that Kathryn held up for her and snuggled in beside her. Chakotay wrapped his arms around Kolopak and then turned to look at Kathryn as quiet once again filled the room.

She was ready for this and with a big grin simply said, "Every morning."

The room was very quiet for a few minutes, the only sound being the birds singing outside, and then Kathryn told the children to get cleaned up. Kolopak immediately kissed Chakotay and then slid off the bed, turned and helped Katy down and they both ran out of the room.

Chakotay cleared his throat. "Kathryn, I just realized not only are we naked, but the children were naked too!"

She smiled. "They have seen us naked and know very clearly the difference between men and women. We will give them their own separate rooms in a year or so, but for now it doesn't matter. She then started giggling and Chakotay frowned.

"What is so funny?"

"I remember the first time about Kolopak's curiosity of why did we have hair 'down there' and they didn't. I carefully explained as best I could that it was the Great Spirits way of protecting that sensitive area. Well as luck would have it, that very same morning he fell and hurt his self in that area and as you comforted him he said, while still crying and holding it, "I'll be glad when I'm grownup and have that area protected, poppa. That hurt!"

Chakotay couldn't help it and burst out laughing. "So our son had his first experience of getting hurt there did he?"

Kathryn chuckled as she sat up. "Yep, and a few more times since then, including Katy accidentally kicking him there." She was still laughing as she headed for the door. "The children are out of the shower now so it's my turn. When I'm finished I'll help you and then after breakfast we will sit and talk and I'll tell you everything about the last six years."

<> <> <> <>

After finishing breakfast she and Chakotay went out on the deck and Kathryn, per Chakotay's request, started back at Sick Bay. She had brought a copy of her logbook out but only referred to it on occasion. Chakotay sat quietly, intently listening to her description of events. She talked all morning, breaking only to quickly make sandwiches for them and the children at lunchtime, and then continued. By now she had gone past their wedding and was in the first year here at Dorvan. Chakotay very seldom asked questions, but on occasion Kathryn would note sadness in his eyes and knew it was because she had told him of special moments and he could not remember or feel those instances. She continued talking and near dinnertime her voice was beginning to be raspy, yet she continued.

Again there was only a short break for their evening meal and then they moved out to the tree and she continued to tell him, day by day, month by month, year by year of their life together. By now her voice was hoarse, yet she didn't let it stop her. It was important she finish today so they could spend other days going over the things he wanted more minute details on. At last she finished and as she looked at him she smiled.

"So there it is, not quite a nutshell, but as much as I could tell today without getting into every minute. Did any of it strike a chord or cause a flashback or remembrance, honey?"

He shook his head. "None," and then he rubbed at his face and as he looked up, Kathryn could clearly see the disappointment etched in his eyes.

"Well now that you are back, the doctor said there was a chance you would slowly start to remember things. Something you see, or I say will trigger some memory."

"I hope so. I so want to feel and remember everything you have said today," he whispered in a forlorn tone. He then looked at her and gave a small smile. "Thank you. Your voice is very hoarse, so no more and I promise no questions the rest of the night. Come sit here with me like you did yesterday. The sun is starting to go down and you said we watch it every night."

Kathryn immediately positioned his legs and as she settled in between and leaned back into his chest she gave a contented sigh. They were both quiet as they watched the sun slowly sink behind the distance mountain, giving off hues of deep red to orange, to slight pink and even a variegated purplish color. At last the remaining tip disappeared and the haze of evening began to settle in.

"That was beautiful," said Chakotay.

"It always is," sighed Kathryn. "Well, unfortunately it's almost time to put the children to bed. We've sort of ignored them today, but they seemed to understand we had to have this discussion as they didn't once pester us."

Chakotay slipped his arms around Kathryn's waist. "We have two beautiful children. Thank you Kathryn, but I just wish I . . ." and he stopped and left the rest of his thought unsaid.

Kathryn slightly turned her head and gave him a soft kiss. "Someday, sweetheart. Now let's spend some time with them before putting them to bed," and she rose and gave the 'T' bar a slight swing to him and as Chakotay reacted and caught it, she smiled. Pushing the chair into position she watched as Chakotay pulled himself to his feet and finally settled into the chair with a big sigh. For the next hour the four of them sat on the sofa, with Chakotay reading stories to the children. Kathryn had started the reading, but because of her voice Chakotay took the book from her and did the reading himself.

After the children were in bed, Kathryn and Chakotay were quiet a few moments. It was an awkward silence, as Chakotay knew that as yet he wouldn't be making love to Kathryn. His mind was just too full to even think of making love to her. She sensed this and bent down and kissed him.

"No problem, sweetheart. Tonight I'm the one that is tired," she said with a big smile. "So don't concern yourself. Like I said, it will happen but only when you are ready. So if you are ready for bed . . ."

He gratefully nodded his head as he felt his body relax. "Thank you . . . I'm sorry."

"One more 'I'm sorry' mister and I'll phaser you," she said with a laugh and then turned for the bedroom, calling out, "Coming?"

"I wish," he muttered softly, not realizing Kathryn had heard it and was having a hard time suppressing her laughter.

The next morning, promptly at six a.m., the children made their loud entrance and after extending the usual good morning with kisses, danced and then lay still within their parents' arms.

Following breakfast Kathryn announced she had to go into town to do some grocery shopping, but Chakotay declined to go with her, saying he would stay home and watch the children. He really just wanted to be alone and to think quietly on what had been told him yesterday. Kathryn then gathered up her list, gave him a Padd and said to jot down any questions he might have and went out to the very small shuttle-like transport and as she started off she waved at him watching from the window. She seemed to know I was there. Guess I do that when she goes into town alone, he thought to himself.

After making sure the children were all right he went out to the tree, but instead of sitting on the ground he just sat and stared out at the mountains from his chair. He sighed as he thought of everything, and berated himself for being not only a cripple but not being able to remember his and Kathryn's life together. She had told him of so many wonderful moments they had shared and he couldn't remember any of it! Silently he cursed his mind, his legs, even himself, for what had happened as well as his physical state.

A peal of laughter by the children disturbed his thoughts and he glanced over and saw they were gleefully playing tag again. He smiled as he watched them. They were beautiful children and they were his and Kathryn's! He thought of Kathryn and knew she loved him very much. The way she smiled at him, the tone of her voice, the looks she gave him, the words of endearment, her touch . . . all full of love for him. He cursed that she had to take care of him. He looked back at the mountains.

What the hell! He had sworn to take care of her, to always be at her side. She was just reciprocating to him. Was it that important that she was taking care of him instead of him taking care of her? She said she loved taking care of him and he could tell she meant it. He had the woman he desired all that time on Voyager. Kathryn Janeway - Kathryn - was his wife and had blessed him with these two wonderful children. It was obvious she loved him and he knew he loved her so why the devil was he sitting here and feeling sorry for himself. He was such a jerk! So what that he couldn't walk. Kathryn herself said legs don't make the man. So what he if couldn't remember - Kathryn did and told him of the incidents so he could picture it in his mind; yet he hadn't felt that joy, he hadn't seen that event and that's why he felt bad. It was Kathryn, the love of his life that he had experienced those events with and he couldn't remember them! Well maybe someday he would. You must never give up raced through his mind.

He glanced back at the children and as he watched them he got a lump the size of a meteor in his throat and his chest swelled with so much love and pride he thought he was going to burst. Stop feeling sorry for yourself you jerk! Enjoy what you've been blessed with, the most wonderful woman in the world and two fantastic children! Suddenly he felt his whole body relax and at that moment knew that he was going to be all right.

He wheeled over to the 'T' bar and after getting himself down on the ground, scooted back against the tree.

"Kolopak, Katy, come rest now," he said.

Both children immediately headed his way and he held both arms out. They quickly sat on each side of him and as he wrapped his arms around them they placed their heads on his shoulders. He bent his head and kissed the top of each head and then put his head back against the tree and sighed. He was the luckiest man in the world.

Soon both children were asleep and Chakotay decided to close his eyes, but just for a moment as he felt sure Kathryn would be back fairly soon.

A bright flash startled him awake and he saw Kathryn standing in front of them with a holo imager in her hand and a big, loving smile on her face.

"That was the most beautiful scene and I just had to get a picture of it," she said as she glanced at it, smiled and then handed the imager to Chakotay so he could see it.

Chakotay stared at it, enjoying immensely what he saw and was about to ask for a copy for himself when Kolopak raised his head and asked to see.

"That's a good picture, papa, but mama isn't in it."

Chakotay immediately looked up at Kathryn, who just as quickly held one finger up. "I'll be right back," she said and took off for the house on a run.

Soon she was back with a tripod and after setting the imager on it, aimed it at the threesome, focused and then looking up asked, "How much time do I need to set so I can get in there with you guys?"

"Set it for ten seconds and then come sit between my legs like you did yesterday," Chakotay suggested.

She fingered something on the imager and then quickly moved to Chakotay, sat down and slid back to lean against his chest.

"It should be any minute now, so everyone be ready," she said. A few moments later the flash went off and Kathryn scrambled to her feet. As she looked at it she smiled and her eyes shimmered with love and pride as she walked over and handed it to Chakotay.

The minute Chakotay saw it his heart leaped. "I want a hard copy of this, framed, for my nightstand. Can you do that for me, please?"

"Me too mama," chimed in Kolopak. "I want one for Katy's and my bedroom!"

"I'll do it, but for me . . ." and she smiled a big smile, "I'm going to blow it up big, about 18X24 and put it on our wall in the front room. This is our first picture of all of as a family," and she looked at Chakotay, who knowing what she meant, nodded his head and smiled.

"Our first as a family," he said softly.

"Now I suppose daddy didn't feed you children, did he," asked Kathryn. Both children shook their heads. "Okay, troops, let's get inside," and she walked off, leaving Chakotay to fend for himself on getting back into the chair.

"Aren't you going to help me?" he called out.

She stopped and looked back and then with a big grin said, "No, you got yourself down there you get yourself up."

"But you moved my chair!" he laughed.

"Get Kolopak to bring it closer, my man," and she turned for the house.

As Chakotay wheeled inside he grumped that some women just didn't care to help their helpless husbands, which made Kathryn giggle.

As she looked at him she sensed he was more relaxed. Good. He's gradually coming back, she thought.

He helped her put the groceries away and was almost more hindrance than help as he constantly had to ask where things went, but Kathryn didn't complain. At least he was starting to act like the . . . 'other' Chakotay and be involved.

Following lunch the children lay down, although they weren't sleepy, as they had napped with Chakotay. During that time Kathryn and Chakotay sat on the sofa and she answered questions he had jotted down on his Padd before going off on his tangent of thoughts.

The rest of the day they talked of earlier Voyager times, at least those he could remember, dinner came and went and the sunset was watched in silent awe. Soon the children were put to bed and as they exited the bedroom Chakotay looked up at Kathryn.

"You must be tired after shopping, how about our retiring early as well?"

"I do feel a little tired. That trip wears me out. Not so much the shopping, but having to stop and talk to everyone. They all asked about you - every one of them," she said with a laugh.

After getting Chakotay's clothes off she helped him into bed and as she started to move to her side he said, "On my right side, please?"

Kathryn's heart jumped but she tried not to show it and positioned him on his right side, then after walking to her side, slipped her clothes off, and as she turned to climb in bed Chakotay again stared in awe at her naked, beautiful body. He swallowed as he watched her crawl under the covers and then move over close and facing him. At that moment nary a thought of his paralyzed legs crossed his mind. She hesitated and then stopped a short ways from him, but Chakotay reached out with one arm and placing it around her waist exerted pressure to move her closer.

She placed one arm over his top arm and down onto his back, and after looking at him a moment, moved her head toward him and kissed him, a very passionate kiss.

"I love you Chakotay," she whispered softly, "With all my heart," and moved her body even closer so they were touching from the hips down. Tentatively, and almost in an embarrassed way, Chakotay moved one hand and tenderly cupped her breast. Kathryn moaned quietly and then Chakotay kissed her, the first time he had done that as the 'old' Chakotay. The kiss extended and time seemed to stand still. Kathryn moved her body more, pressing it fully against his as they kissed again and again. Finally Kathryn put her top leg over his and seemed to hook it under his leg.

"Ready?" she asked in a husky voice.

"For what?" he groaned, his mind still on holding her breast and that last kiss.

"For this," she said and in a quick pull rolled over, pulling Chakotay with her and slipping her lower leg under his as she did so. Chakotay found himself on top of her.

Startled all he could think to say was, "That was quick."

"Like I said sweetheart, we found ways," and then she moaned as she felt his growing erection between her legs.

Chakotay rose up on his elbows and looked deeply into Kathryn's eyes. "I love you Kathryn, so very much, and I've been a darn fool the last couple of days," and then as he lowered his head and kissed her, he placed his hand over her breast and started moving his body. A soft moan escaped Kathryn's lips and she quickly began to match his movements. A few moments later both buried their heads in the shoulder of the other to muffle their moans as Chakotay initiated penetration

The next morning Kathryn slowly opened her eyes and immediately turned her head towards Chakotay and like yesterday morning she found him lying there looking at her.

"Good morning, sweetheart," she said. "What time is it?"

"I haven't a clue," he said softly.

She smiled. "It must be early it's still dark out. Have you heard the kids yet?"

"Nothing. They have been very quiet."

She moved over to him and snuggled into his body. "It must be around four or five as it's still so dark. As you have learned they rise at straight up six o'clock, so we never need an alarm." Sighing along with a contented smile, she looked up at him. "This is always a special time for me, to wake up and have you beside me."

He grinned and his eyes danced. "Beside - or inside?"

She smirked and then replied in a very sexy voice, "Especially inside. Thank you for last night, sweetheart, it was wonderful."

"It was for me, too. Are you sure it was all right, Kathryn?"

"Mmmmmm, it was fantastic. It was almost better than our very first time."

"Are you sure? You know, last night, in my present situation, it was really our first time, at least for me anyway, and I felt a little unsure."

"Well you may have been lost in time but you certainly didn't lose how to make love to me."

"I couldn't believe it when we had a simultaneous orgasm."

Kathryn laughed. "I'll have you know we have that quite often."

"Really!"

"Uh huh," she said as she pushed Chakotay onto his back and then crawled halfway across his body and reached for the clock. She grinned as she looked at Chakotay. "It's only 4:30."

In a sudden move he pulled her directly on top of his legs. "Your turn," he said quietly.

She gave him a lascivious look and then positioned herself directly above his organ, which was now standing at full attention. Slowly she lowered herself down until he was fully inside her, causing them both to groan at the pleasure. As Kathryn started to move, Chakotay closed his eyes and moved with her. Her movements started to be faster and suddenly Chakotay grabbed both her arms and in a quick roll had her on her back, with neither of them missing a beat.

"Two can play that game," he murmured as he lowered his head, placed his lips over her rising nipple, and continued to move his body, faster and faster, until at last they both exploded and called out each other's name, muffled only by the fact their lips were together.

Gasping for breath Chakotay, said, "Oh Great Spirits --- am I ever glad I can remember this!" She put her arms around him and held him tightly, not even letting him think of moving off her.

"I love you Chakotay. I loved you on Voyager, I love you now, I will always love you and I love how you make love to me. I love our whole life together. Every day is new and exciting and we made two beautiful children and I thank you for that blessing. The last five years have been the best years of my life! You are my man, my husband, my lover and my friend, and I don't ever want that to change."

He kissed her a soft, tender kiss and said, "I'm so glad Kathryn. You are my life, and even though I'm still sort of in a fog right now, and not totally complete, I do love you with all my heart, and I will try to remember the last five years and make it up to you."

"There is nothing to make up for honey. It was you, my Chakotay, that was here and you are still here, only now you are the 'real thing' and you will soon realize how wonderful you, and our life together, has been. I promise you that my dearest." Then she smiled. "I better get you off me before the children come running in here to say good morning."

"It's still early," he said.

"Not with the noise we just made," she said with a laugh.

Kathryn had no sooner rolled Chakotay onto his back and straightened his legs, when the thump of feet was heard and soon two shouts of "Daddy" and "Mommy" rang through the hall. Both children came running into the room and then as was their custom, Kolopak jumped up on the bed, lay face down across Chakotay's leg, and grabbing both of Katy's hands helped pull her up on the bed, with Katy using her feet to help crawl up the side. After kissing their parents and shouting good morning, both jumped up and down on the bed for a few minutes and then fell giggling onto Kathryn and Chakotay.

"See what I mean," said Kathryn as she put her arms around Katy. Chakotay just nodded his head, looked over at the clock and then looked at Kolopak.

"You kids are up early this morning."

"Sorry papa. Something woke me up so we just got up."

Chakotay's face tinged with pink as he looked over at Kathryn. She just smiled and said, "Apology accepted."

Kathryn reached over and tousled his hair, then did the same with Kolopak. She hugged and kissed Katy and then said, "All right, everyone, up and at 'em." The children immediately rose and started for the door, but stopped when Kathryn called out, "Both of you into the showers."

Kolopak, in a very serious expression nodded his head and replied, "Yes, mama, but you and daddy have to shower too. You both smell this morning."

Kathryn burst out in a loud giggle as she told him, "I'm sure we do, and we intend to when you are out, now scoot!" Looking at Chakotay her laughter got louder as she saw he was totally embarrassed.

"I think it's about time to put new filters into the air filtration system." That said she moved to her side of the bed and rose, just as the running water was heard emanating from the bathroom.

"We are just going to have cold cereal this morning, sweetheart. As soon as the children are out of the shower, I'll take mine and then come back in and help you." She slipped her robe on, moved to his side, gave him a quick kiss and then spent a few moments getting her fresh clothes out of the dresser and closet. At that moment the shower was heard to be turned off and the patter of feet in the hallway.

"All done, mama. It's your turn!" Kolopak shouted.

"Be back shortly sweetheart," said Kathryn to Chakotay and then walked out the door. Shortly Chakotay heard the water come on and as he lay there he made a decision. Looking around he saw the chair was clear across the room.

"Darn. Well if I can get out of bed I can crawl over there and surprise Kathryn," he said as he sat up and threw the covers back. Taking hold of one leg he moved it over the side of the bed, feeling a stab of surprise at how heavy a 'dead' leg felt. He then moved his other leg and then using his hands and forearms slowly pushed himself off the bed until at last he let go and dropped the last couple of inches. His arms were extremely strong from having to lift his body for five years, he mused.

Twisting his upper body, he let himself fall onto his shoulder and then stomach, and then using his fingers and elbows started pulling himself towards the chair. He struggled, as there wasn't much to grab on to and was quick to realize this was not going to be an easy task. He used his fingers and at times his forearms and elbows to slowly move his body. The rug was a rough texture and was irritating to the whole front of his body. Gasping for breath he stopped a moment and then continued on until he was within arm's reach of the chair.

Reaching out he tried to pull it toward him, but when it didn't move realized that Kathryn had locked the wheels, so resorted to moving himself closer and in line with the front of the chair. At last he could grip the seat, but he stopped to get his breath.

"Chakotay! Sweetheart what are you doing," cried out Kathryn as she entered the room and started rushing towards him.

"I'm going to get in this chair. Please Kathryn, let me do it . . . let me try. I've got to try!"

She stopped in her tracks and with a fearful, yet resigned expression watched as Chakotay struggled to get into position. Tears welled in her eyes as she placed her hands on her cheeks. She started forward to help, but checked herself and with her heart aching just watched his struggle.

At last he had both hands on the seat and using leverage got his self half way up, but dropped back down. He had to adjust his position and then tried again, using one hand on the seat and reaching up higher with the other hand to the armrest and with a massive grunt pulled his body up just enough that he got one cheek partly on the seat. After taking a deep breath he used both hands this time to get the rest of his body seated and facing forward. Gasping for breath he looked at Kathryn.

She immediately moved to him and sat down on his lap. Putting both hands on his cheeks she kissed and hugged him, while murmuring, "Oh my Chakotay, my dearest Chakotay. I had forgotten how fiercely you wanted to be independent in the beginning."

"I had to try Kathryn. I wanted to be in the chair when you got out of your shower, but I have to admit it was very hard. I didn't really have anything to grab onto to pull myself. You had the chair so far away."

"I usually put it just outside the door. If I had done that maybe you would have waited for me. Oh sweetheart, why didn't you let me help you?"

"I'm sorry. I know you want to help me, but I thought I could do it. I wanted to try and wanted to surprise you, but it didn't work. I'm sorry to be such a bother to you."

"You are not a bother to me, ever! When are you going to realize that? Oh! Look at your hands and arms, honey. You are bleeding! Now I am going to have to activate the EMH three days early."

"The EMH?"

She smiled. "Yes we have the old EMH. Starfleet was just going to experiment on him so I convinced them to give him to us. He came in handy during both my pregnancies, but I'm afraid he's always quite grumpy when I activate him. He doesn't understand I don't want him underfoot around here twenty-four hours a day. He insisted he needed to check you every week and I decided it would be every two weeks unless there was an emergency and forcefully told him it was Captain's orders."

Chakotay grinned. "Well for me it might be nice to see him." Kathryn stood up and went to the far dresser, got the disc and activated the EMH.

As the doctor appeared, he frowned. "Thank you Captain, for letting me once again 'see' the light of day!"

"Doctor I need you to check Chakotay. He . . ."

Before she could finish he moved over to the chair. "Good morning, Commander, or whatever time it is, as I wouldn't know. Commander! You have abrasions all down the front of you . . ."

"I know doctor, and it's a little painful. It's stinging actually."

"His fingers and forearms into the elbow are also bleeding doctor," said Kathryn returning to the room with a Med Kit in hand.

He looked at Kathryn. "What on earth happened?" he asked as he took the medicine kit from Kathryn.

"It seems he wanted to get in his chair while I was in the shower."

"Hmmm. Back to crawling around like you did in that tunnel, Commander?"

"Something like that," responded Chakotay as he glanced at Kathryn.

After the doctor ran the Medical TriCorder over Chakotay he then picked up the Dermal Regenerator. "They are just abrasions. Nothing I can't fix," and he started humming. Suddenly he exclaimed, "Commander! You even have abrasions on your penis. Although I don't experience something like that, I'm told it must be quite painful."

Chakotay looked over at Kathryn and instead of blushing, smiled. "It won't stop me, honey." Kathryn smirked and added she hoped not. The doctor just rolled his eyes.

As he continued his treatment he glanced over at the doorway and saw Kolopak and Katy standing there.

"Your children are in the room Captain. Do you always speak so candidly in their presence?"

"We always talk openly with them doctor, but might I remind you that it was you who used the word penis."

"The doctor immediately huffed up and opened his mouth to deny it when he remembered he did.

"Ah yes. I apologize, Captain."

"Doctor there is something else you must know," said Kathryn, changing the subject after she saw he had repaired Chakotay's skin abrasions. "Chakotay came out of his amnesia three days ago."

"That's wonderful Captain! Didn't I tell you that would happen?" he chortled.

"Yes you said that was a possibility, but anyway, even though I have activated you three days early you might as well give us all our checkups now," she said, nodding to include Kolopak and Katy, who had now entered the room and were standing quietly to one side.

"Good idea," replied the doctor with a smile and immediately stepped behind the chair, unlocked the wheels and started pushing Chakotay across the room

"Where are we going?" asked Chakotay.

"To my examination room, Commander, which the Captain has so graciously fixed for me!"

"We don't have an examination room!" said Chakotay.

"We do now honey. I added a room when I was pregnant with Kolopak. Actually you designed it and helped the carpenter from the village, Jake, to build it."

"Oh," said Chakotay. "I didn't know," and then watched as he was wheeled to the back of the house. As Kathryn stepped forward and opened the door, Chakotay saw it indeed was an exam room and had a bio bed and several machines. It wasn't large, only about eight feet wide and probably the same in length. His chair was pushed up beside the bed and the doctor simply lifted Chakotay up on the bed without any effort, arranged his legs and then obtained a sheet and threw it over his hips.

"How do you do that? Lift me?"

"You forget I am a hologram Commander and weight means nothing to me," he said as he started his exam. Kathryn and the children stood silently in the doorway and watched as the doctor started running TriCorder's over his body.

"So you came out of your amnesia? Captain you should have activated me right away," he harrumphed.

"There wasn't anything wrong physically doctor, so I decided to wait until the scheduled day, and then he got ambitious this morning."

Everyone became quiet while the doctor did a thorough exam on Chakotay, including brain scans. When he was finished he looked up with a smile.

"The Commander is fine, and that 'pinprick' on his brain as you called it, well it is completely healed over."

"That's good. No problems of any kind?"

"None, Captain. So now do you want me to examine the children next or you?" he said as he placed Chakotay back in the chair.

Kolopak was next, followed by Katy and both were said to be physically fit. Kathryn walked in and sat on the bed, took off her shoes and then lay down. The doctor again ran all his myriad of machines over her and said she was fine. There is a slight elevation of blood pressure, due no doubt to the excitement of the Commander being 'back.' Kathryn just smirked.

Once finished with the family, the doctor said, "Now I suppose you are going to send me back to that black oblivion!"

"Actually no, doctor. I would like you and Chakotay to just go somewhere and sit and talk. He's quite confused about missing those five, actually six years. I have to do some housework." The doctor beamed as he pushed Chakotay's chair outside to the deck and sat down.

"So Commander, when you came back to reality, what was it like? What did you feel?"

"I had no idea where I was doctor and felt very confused."

"Well of course. That was natural. So when did you realize things were different?"

"Right after I woke up and realized I wasn't on Voyager. And then Kathryn walks in carrying a cup of coffee and kissed me and called me sweetheart. I was shocked and wondered what the hell was going on. I was sure I was dreaming because the last I remember was being in that cave."

"Aha. So . . ."

Kathryn stood at the doorway a few moments listening to this conversation and then smiling, went on about her work. That conversation would be good for Chakotay as well as the doctor, and it just might lead to the possibility finding out some information she didn't know that could be useful in the future.

<> <> <> <>

Time moved slowly and soon a month had passed since Chakotay came out of his amnesia. At times he would get a flash of remembrance of something, either from something Kathryn said or looking at something. Gradually he began to remember more and more, and although they were haphazard as to occurrence, both he and Kathryn were ecstatic about his memory gradually returning. Two months later Kathryn sat down beside Chakotay and took hold of his hand.

"There is something you should know, sweetheart," said Kathryn one day. "I haven't told you before because you were so despondent about your legs and I didn't want to get your hopes up, but you do have the right to know now that your memory is coming back."

"Well you made that mysterious enough. So what is it?"

"The doctor has this theory, based on no medical fact, just a gut feeling or a hunch he had. Anyway," she said as she saw Chakotay getting irritated at this roundabout way of bringing up the subject, "He feels your amnesia and paralysis are related."

"What do you mean?" asked Chakotay sitting up straight.

"Well he made examination after examination and test after test while you were in Sick Bay and during that year after, but he never could find an injury to your spinal column."

Chakotay looked at her a moment, then pursed his lips. "So, are you saying that with my memory coming back . . . no let me rephrase -- he thinks my memory loss and my inability to walk are related?"

"He thinks that's the only answer."

"So with my memory coming back there is a chance I might again get the use of my legs?" he asked in a hopeful tone.

Kathryn just nodded her head and then held her hand up to him. "Now don't get your hopes up sweetheart. It's just his theory and so far in the three months since your memory has started to return you haven't felt anything in your legs . . . have you?"

"No, I haven't," he said as disappointment again showed in his face. Then he brightened and smiled. "But it took me six years to come out of my amnesiac state and it's only been three months, well four since I ended the amnesia, that I've started remembering things. So maybe in time . . ."

"I hope so sweetheart, for your sake I hope so, but let's not dwell on it, okay? I don't want your hopes dashed if nothing happens."

Four months later Kathryn and Chakotay were sitting in the front room when she rose and said she was going to make some lemonade. She could see Chakotay from the sink but then concentrated on mixing the contents of the drink.

"Kathryn?"

She turned at the sound of his voice and shock filled her very being. The pitcher of Lemonade slipped from her grasp and dropped into the sink, shattering into a million pieces. She hurried to the door, not believing her eyes, but had to hold onto the door from.

Chakotay was standing in front of his chair!!

"Chakotay! Oh my God, Sweetheart, you are standing!" she yelled as she rushed into the room. She gently embraced him so as to not upset his delicate balance as she could see he was shaky and felt his whole body trembling.

"I've got to sit down Kathryn. My legs are weak," he gasped and reached back for the arms of his chair.

After he sat down they both just looked at one another, smiling, laughing and tears running down their cheeks. Chakotay held out his arms to her and she immediately sat on his lap.

He smiled. "I can feel your weight, honey."

"Oh God, Chakotay, oh honey, oh my dearest," she blubbered as the tears increased until she put her head down on his shoulder and started crying. The intensity increased until she was sobbing uncontrollably. All the while Chakotay had his arms around her, rubbing her back and telling her over and over he was all right.

Just then Chakotay noticed both Kolopak and Katy standing in the doorway, their eyes wide open in fear and tears cascading down their faces.

"What's the matter with mommy?" asked Kolopak.

Chakotay held out an arm and told both of them to come to him. As Katy ran up, Kathryn straightened enough to scoop Katy up into her arms while Kolopak, using Chakotay's hand and arm, pulled himself up the chair and joined them. Kathryn continued to cry as she hugged Katy, which just made Katy cry even harder.

"Mommy is all right," said Chakotay as he tousled her hair. "She's just crying because she's happy."

"We've never seen momma cry before," blubbered Kolopak. "We were afraid something was wrong."

Kathryn pulled her head up long enough to say, "I'm all right, sweethearts. I'm just so happy. Daddy stood up on his own a minute ago and . . ." At that she started crying again and leaned into Chakotay and Kolopak, while hugging Katy tightly. Chakotay put his free arm around her while trying to lean forward to kiss the top of her head.

After awhile Kathryn straightened up and wiped the tears from her face. "Oh my - I was just so overcome I couldn't stop crying."

"Are you sure you are all right, mommy?" asked a still tearful Katy.

"I'm fine, honey. I'm just fine. In fact I feel wonderful!" She kissed Katy and gave her a hug, which made Katy stop crying.

Chakotay grimaced. "As nice as it is to start having feeling in my legs folks, I'm going to have to ask you all to get down. It's actually beginning to hurt!" he said with a laugh.

Kathryn and the children got off his lap and then Kathryn knelt by him and laid one hand on his thigh and asked him how long he had feelings in his leg.

He grinned. "A couple of days ago I thought I felt your rubbing on my leg, but I thought it was a pseudo feeling, you know like pseudo pain when you don't have a limb. And then yesterday I was sure I felt it but I didn't want to say anything for fear it was my imagination. But today when I placed my own hand on my thigh I could actually feel it as I moved my fingers, so while you were making the lemonade I decided to see if I could stand up. Thank God you hurried to me as I couldn't have stood another second!"

"Oh sweetheart, I am so happy for you! This is what you wanted and now it's happened."

"Well I'm not going out for a hike tomorrow I can tell you that. They are both very weak and I'm still going to need your massage." He said with a smirk.

"Glad to, my husband. Even when your legs are perfectly well, I will massage them if you want me to. Oh boy, I've got to activate the doctor and let him examine you." She quickly rose and got his disc from the dresser and as she looked at Chakotay she smiled.
"Ready?" and she activated the EMH.

"Well this is a surprise, or has it already been two weeks?" he said in a sarcastic tone.

Kathryn turned him to Chakotay and said, "Can you do it again honey?" As Chakotay said he would try she told the doctor, "Watch this."

Chakotay made sure his feet were flat on the floor and then using his arms pushed himself up to his feet, stood there wobbly for a moment and then quickly dropped back down.

"Congratulations, Commander!" said the doctor. Turning to Kathryn he said, "See, didn't I tell you it might happen someday? Didn't I tell you he might get his legs back? Didn't I say . . .?"

"Yes doctor," said Kathryn placing a hand over his mouth. "Now just examine him!"

The doctor immediately walked to the chair and with a smug grin to the children, said, "I told them this might happen," and pushed Chakotay down the hall to the examination room, where he gave him a complete neural as well as musculature examination.

"Everything is almost perfectly normal. Of course the neural pathways have been all along, but his muscles show severe atrophy. He is going to need some intense physical therapy, Captain, which is also my specialty."

Kathryn was too happy to even think about rolling her eyes at the prospect of having to activate him everyday. "You can start setting up a program now doctor and start the therapy tomorrow morning after breakfast, and then as soon as I learn it I can do it." She looked at Chakotay with loving eyes. "I will love giving my husband this therapy and helping him walk again."

Then she frowned. "That is if you still want me to help take care of you sweetheart."

He quickly took her in his arms. "I will always want you to help take care of me. Just because I'm getting back on my feet doesn't mean I want you to stop. Even though I feel that since my 'return' I really haven't shown my appreciation for all you do, and have been a pain in the butt at times, I really do love the way you care for me," he said softly. Kathryn just smiled and glowed at the feel of his strong arms around her.

The doctor, a smug look on his face as if he had just healed all the illnesses of the world, was already starting to write on his Padd what had to be done. Kathryn helped Chakotay back into his chair and pushed him out of the room, leaving the doctor to mutter to himself.

"Aren't you going to deactivate him?" asked Chakotay.

"No, I think I'll leave him on for awhile," she said with a laugh. "He really is a good man he just gets talking too much sometimes." She pushed the chair to the door and then out and down to the tree.

"You still better use your 'T' bar sweetheart."

"I know. My legs feel weaker than mush."

The sat in their usual place and usual position and watched the sunset. This evening it had very special significance and beauty to them. Kathryn leaned her head back onto his chest and sighed.

"I think I will always remember this day, especially as I've got one heck of a mess to clean up in the kitchen," she said laughing.

"I'm sorry," said Chakotay. "Was it a valuable pitcher?"

"No, just something I bought in town." She looked around and saw the kids lying on the grass a few feet away and smiled. "You kids stay out of the kitchen until I get all that broken glass cleaned up." Both just nodded their heads, but kept looking at the two of them.

"Do you think you might clean it up so we can have dinner?" asked Chakotay with a mischievous grin. "I think the kids might be hungry, and I know I am."

"Oh my gosh," she exclaimed. "I was so excited about your standing I completely forgot! We haven't had anything to eat have we!" and she pushed away from him and stood. "Give me about thirty minutes to clean that mess up and then I think I'll just warm up the Mushroom Soup that was left over from a couple of days ago," and as she hurried off called back, "With toast!" Chakotay laughed. He didn't care he was so elated he was getting his legs back and would once again be able to walk!

That night, Kathryn as per her custom, helped Chakotay undress and get into bed. He let her, enjoying the attention. As she put him in bed she raised an eyebrow.

"On my side," he said with a smile, "Although I think I can almost turn on my own now."

As Kathryn moved in close to him he put his arm around her and pulled her tight against him. "I love you Kathryn. Getting my legs back is only going to make me love you more."

She snickered and put her arm and leg over him and with a sudden quick pull had him on top of her. Chakotay just smiled as he kissed her and then said, "I think I could have done that myself tonight."

Kathryn chuckled. "One more for the road so to speak," and after she kissed him she added, "Make love to me sweetheart, with all the love and fervor and intensity in the world!"

And he did.

In fact it was very passionate and rapturous, with both becoming rather wild and frenzied at times. A low rumbling moan, deep in Kathryn's throat at one point only served to spur Chakotay on, with Kathryn holding him tight and matching his every move and thrust until they exploded and then both fell limp and silent, breathing heavily.

Kathryn finally kissed Chakotay as she moaned, "Oh God that was the best ever. You are the best lover in the world, sweetheart."

"Better than our very first time or our wedding night?" he asked as he kissed her neck.

"The best, because this night was special, for both of us," she whispered.

The next morning when Kathryn awakened and turned her head to Chakotay, he was awake and looking at her.

She smiled. "Good morning sweetheart. How are you?"

"Fine. How are you?" he asked with a smile as he placed his hand gently on her face.

"I'm going to be sore, I can tell you that," she said with a light chuckle. "But a wonderful soreness, so I'm not complaining. Last night seemed so extra special honey," she added as she turned her head and kissed the palm of his hand. "And like I've said before, it's such a wondrous pleasure to wake up and find you beside me."

He chortled. "And I think I asked before, beside or inside?" and both laughed, knowing the answer.

That morning, following breakfast, the doctor started Chakotay on a very rigorous rehabilitation program, not only to strengthen the leg muscles, but virtually teaching him how to walk again.

Tom, B'Elanna and Harry, after being apprised of this great news by Kathryn, showed up a few days later with a contraption they said was similar to the earth's 20th century gymnastics Horizontal Bars, which allowed Chakotay to hang onto with both hands and walk between without Kathryn or the doctor having to hold him up.

Although it took several months, he not only regained the use of his legs, but his memory came back in full. At first it was bits and pieces, flashes of some scene or words, and he and Kathryn would reminisce about it, until it was either straight in his mind what had happened or he would suddenly remember the event with clarity. Eventually Chakotay was able to talk about something he remembered, and Kathryn smiled in delight as she corroborated his memory.

Exactly one year later, while they were in town celebrating the anniversary of Chakotay's miraculous recovery, the town doctor summoned both Kathryn and Chakotay to the cabin of a woman who had recently lost her husband. The woman had been friends of Chakotay when he was younger, and when they entered the cabin they were shocked to see the woman in bed and looking deathly pale. The doctor told them she didn't have long to live and as the woman became aware of their presence, she motioned them to her side.

"You know I am dying and I have a favor to ask the two of you. I have a little son, Matthew. He needs a good family to raise him. Please, can you two take him in and raise him. He's a good boy. It would please me and I can leave in peace knowing he will be in good hands."

Kathryn and Chakotay didn't even hesitate. In reality they had wanted another child, but couldn't take the chance because of Kathryn's age. As they traveled home, both children fussed over Matthew, who was the same age as Katy. Soon all three were laughing and talking and having a grand time. Kathryn and Chakotay smiled. Kolopak and Katy now had a brother!

"This has certainly been a year to remember," sighed Kathryn that night. "You awaken to a strange world, in time you start to regain your memory of those lost six years, then the miracle of miracles, you regain the use of your legs, and now today, we have another child. I am so blessed, sweetheart to have such a wonderful man and children. Your accident, although horrible, woke me up to what I had missed, what I needed and I wouldn't change any of that for anything in the world, even though it was terrible for you."

"I was living in a hazy fog of lost time, but as abstract as it was, I would do it again Kathryn, if it meant having you in my life. I love you so much."

"And I love you my wonderful Chakotay." They were quiet a moment and then Kathryn chortled. "Another child and ready made, too!"

Chakotay laughed. "I already love Matthew as if he were our own." He then squeezed her shoulders and whispered, "I wonder what time he wakes up?"

Both parents laughed loudly as they anticipated three children instead of two jumping up and down on their bed in the morning.


Finis
December 2001
Edited June 2006

Please use my feedback form              Back