Disclaimer: Paramount and its subsidiaries own all things Trek. No infringement is intended in any way. The characters are just being used for this story.

Once We Loved . . .

by Dee Price


Kathryn sat in front of her computer. She had heard upon her return from yet another mission that Chakotay and Seven had broken up. Her heart had leapt upon hearing that news and she felt momentary elation, and then felt embarrassed and contrite for thinking it.

Although shocked to the core, she had hid her feelings and wished him well in his relationship with Seven. Somehow his expression told her he knew she was hiding her feelings, repressing them once again, but he smiled and thanked her anyway.

She wanted to call Chakotay but would he think she was running to him now that Seven was no longer in the picture? Probably. And yet . . . well, maybe not. Still, she could not bring her finger to punch in his number.

She leaned back and closed her eyes and thought of Chakotay. She had been immediately attracted to him the first time she saw him and knew it. She also knew she had fallen in love with him on New Earth, but still could not allow herself, despite the situation, to show it or tell him. Once they were rescued by Tuvok and back on Voyager, she became cold, indifferent, 'Captainesque' and brusque towards him, distancing herself from any possible semblance of a relationship.

She knew, or felt quite strongly based on his 'Angry Warrior' speech on New Earth that he loved her and while not willing to say it out loud knew her feelings for him ran deep. So they had loved one another, silently and unspoken, for seven long years. And then he apparently gave up and turned to Seven. She frowned on that thought.

But then her thoughts turned to his handsome countenance and she smiled. He had that black hair and the softest brown eyes she had ever seen. And those dimples . . . when he smiled they deepened like canyons and made him seem even more handsome. But the thought of his lips made her sigh audibly. He had the most sensuous lips she had ever seen. How she would have loved to have tasted those lips and chided herself that she hadn't just done it sometime! Through it all, he seemed totally unaware of his good looks.

She sat forward, and opening her eyes looked once again at the console, stood suddenly and walked out on her back porch and gazed off into the distance. Shortly she looked at her yard, which now was full of blooming flowers. Their delicate aroma drifted to her on a gentle breeze and she smiled at their beauty as she inhaled their fragrance.

Then she chuckled as she looked at the swing hanging from a branch of a stately oak tree. Tom Paris had put it up for he and B'Elanna's daughter Miral to use when they visited. She stepped off the porch and slowly walked to it, sat down, and with a slight push, gently swung back and forth. The rope groaned and creaked as the swing went back and forth. Or was it the limb she wondered as she looked up.

As she swung to and fro she thought again of Chakotay and wondered what he was doing now that Seven had left. I really want to call him, she mused to herself, but I guess I shouldn't, at least not yet. Still why should I hold back? Couldn't I just call as a friend to say hello? She shook her head and gave another push with her feet and started swinging back and forth again, but her thoughts remained on Chakotay. Try as she might to think of other things, the urge to call him drowned out other thoughts and was almost overwhelming.

* * *

Chakotay sat in front of his computer. He had heard Kathryn had returned from yet another mission and wondered if she knew that he and Seven had broken up.

When he had informed her of his relationship with Seven, he was quick to sense that she was shocked to the core by his news, but had hid her feelings and wished him well in his relationship with Seven. Somehow her expression told him she was hiding her feelings, repressing them once again, but he smiled and thanked her anyway.

He wanted to call Kathryn but would she think he was running to her now that Seven was no longer in the picture? Probably. And yet . . . well, maybe not. Still, he could not bring his finger to punch in her number.

He leaned back and closed his eyes and thought of Kathryn. He had been immediately attracted to her the first time he saw her and knew it. He also knew he had fallen in love with her on New Earth, but still could not allow himself, despite the situation, to show it or tell her, other than in his 'Angry Warrior' speech. Once they were rescued by Tuvok and back on Voyager, she became cold, indifferent, 'Captainesque' and brusque towards him, distancing herself from any semblance of a possible relationship and he had accepted it.

He knew, or felt quite strongly based on his speech on New Earth, that she loved him, even while not willing to admit it to herself. So they had loved one another, silently and unspoken, for seven long years. And then he gave up and turned to Seven. He frowned on that thought.

But then his thoughts turned to her beauty and he smiled. She had the most beautiful, clear blue eyes he had ever seen. Her soft auburn hair, which she seemed to wear in many different ways, set off her beauty and her smile seemed to light up her face. Also, she showed more emotion than any Captain he had known. But then, she was a woman, and women weren't afraid to show their feelings, unlike men. He then thought of her lips and sighed audibly. How he would have loved to have tasted those sensuous lips and chided himself that he hadn't just done it sometime!

He sat forward and opening his eyes looked once again at the console, stood suddenly and walked out on his back porch and gazed off into the distance. Shortly he looked at his yard, which now was full of blooming flowers. Their delicate aroma drifted to him on a gentle breeze and he smiled at their beauty as he inhaled their fragrance.

Then he looked at the low branch on the stately oak tree. He stepped off the porch and slowly walked to it, and with a slight jump reached up with both hands and grasped the limb and then with a slight kick of his legs, gently swung back and forth. The branch groaned and creaked as he gently swung beneath it, causing him to look up.

As he slowly swung to and fro he thought again of Kathryn and wondered what she was doing now that she was back from her mission. I really want to call her, he mused to himself, but I guess I shouldn't, at least not yet. Still why should I hold back? Couldn't I just call as a friend to say hello? He shook his head and gave another kick with his feet and started swinging back and forth again, but his thoughts remained on Kathryn. Try as he might to think of other things, the urge to call her drowned out other thoughts and was almost overwhelming.

* * *

Suddenly, with firm resolve in her expression, Kathryn stopped the swing, stepped out, walked briskly into the house and sitting down at her console, started tapping a number.

* * *

Chakotay suddenly stopped swinging and as he hung motionless from the branch, his expression changed. He dropped lightly to the ground and with firm resolve in his expression, walked briskly into the house and sat down at his console.

As he lifted his hand he noticed the incoming message light was blinking and frowned. If he answered it his decision to call Kathryn might not only be delayed, but dissipate. Still, he could not miss a call. He stood and walked away, turned and looked back at the blinking light.

* * *

Kathryn sat nervously, waiting for an answer. When it didn't come, she felt momentary relief. He wasn't home, and after getting up courage to call him, too! Then she frowned. Be there, Chakotay. After I got the courage to call, be there and answer!

* * *

Chakotay looked at the light. It was still blinking! He continued standing for another moment and finally sighed in resignation and walking to the console, sat and tapped the button. As Kathryn's face appeared, he broke into a big grin.

"Hello Chakotay. It's been awhile. How is my favorite Commander?"

His smile widened and he felt happiness at the 'favorite Commander' remark.

"Hello Kathryn. Yes, it's been quite awhile and I'm fine. How is my favorite Captain?"

She smiled at the 'favorite Captain' and felt her heart jump, but then her expression changed to uncertainty and apprehension. Knowing her like he did, Chakotay immediately recognized she was nervous and didn't know what to say next. He also sensed she knew about he and Seven. He immediately decided to put her at ease and smiled.

"I was just thinking of calling you, Kathryn. Would you be interested in having dinner with me tomorrow night?"

Her smile returned, her heart skipped a beat and her expression glowed with happiness as she said softly, "I would love that."

The End

June 2002

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